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Pets helping you cope...

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 Tripletrouble (original poster member #39169) posted at 12:05 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

A bit of a lighter post, as I am trying not to go in a tailspin tonight....

I've seen several posts in which people mention their pets being a source of comfort during this time, and have to add my own. During a difficult conversation with WH I was sitting on the bed, very distraught, and one of my kitties jumped up and came to me and simply pressed her face against my arm. It was one of the most compassionate things I've ever seen an animal do. I have also been letting them sleep with me, as it makes me feel better even if they keep me up half the night.

Give a shout out to your furry friend.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.

posts: 1175   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2013
id 6457979
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pewpewpew ( member #38116) posted at 12:10 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

Yes! My doggies are my loyal, trustworthy companions.

I love them unconditionally, hence they would never betray me.

They were my constant when my world was imploding...

They knew mommy needed them... And we're always by my side.

BS - 32
DDay 1: July 2012 - EA with COW
DDay 2: March 2015; same COW

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, pack your shit and get out.

Fool me twice, now what?!?!

posts: 397   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2013
id 6457988
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devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 12:17 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

Same here. Our cat was totally devoted to my WS, but when he left, she was so there for me. I couldn't believe it - it was like she knew. He's back now and she's right back with him but still shows me love that she never showed before. I honestly don't think they should be called "dumb" animals. If it wasn't for my cat, I don't know what I would have done. She really helped pull me thru this.

And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6458001
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madsadalone ( member #39201) posted at 12:33 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

My cat Toes has decided that I must be protected when my WS gets to close to me.

He is a big boy, 20+ lbs of pissed off kitty...

WS walks away. Yet when I am not around he will visit nicely with WS.

I have only had Toes for about a month,so to me it is strange yet comforting.

Me: BS 47
Him:WH 55
M: 27 yrs
DD 4/29/13
3 kids (25,23,22

posts: 82   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2013
id 6458014
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welcome14 ( member #26741) posted at 12:48 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

I agree- my cat is a kinda nasty, standoffish, cat (oh wait, nasty standoffish and cat is redundant). On a bad day, he would just as soon claw you when you walk past as not. Right after DDay he hopped up on my lap on the couch and just sat and purred. For six weeks. When I finally moved past the suicidal ideations, he jumped off, then he never did it again! It was amazing. And he used to tolerate the ex well, until after DDay when ex came to get some of his things, and that cat bit the crap out of him. Drew blood and everything....the cat got tuna for dinner that night!

[This message edited by welcome14 at 6:51 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)]

Bs- me
Someone I used to know- Him
Nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home- nikki sixx

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.

posts: 1566   ·   registered: Dec. 16th, 2009   ·   location: clarksville, tn/ Ft Campbell
id 6458036
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Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 12:55 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

Omgosh I don't know what I would do without my big Brutus boy...my dog knows when I'm sad. He has human eyes that are filled with compassion. I'm getting teary eyed talking about him.

BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

posts: 5738   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6458045
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jimbo25319 ( member #31891) posted at 1:05 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

My We took the dog when she moved in with the OM. I had a week of coming home to an empty home, and couldn't take it anymore. Went and adopted a rescue dog. She's great. Still a bit skiddish, but follows me everywhere.

posts: 486   ·   registered: Apr. 16th, 2011   ·   location: Maryland
id 6458057
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 1:24 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

When we were going throughout the affairs and divorce, we argued a lot.

Any time we argued, my 100 pound collie would stand between us, as if protecting me from any harm. He pulled me through the divorce.

He's gone now, but I miss him so much.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6458079
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ming56 ( member #19505) posted at 1:35 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

Animals, particularly cats are highly perceptive and mine were definitely a comfort during the storm. Unfortunately they all have passed in the past two years. My two ferals from our lives out west and Sylvester who showed up that summer when things went wayward, and gave me a positive outlet and diversion from all the misery. My wife got help and straightened her life out four years ago, and shortly afterwards Sylvester started to lose function in his hind legs until two years ago he could no longer walk with any consistency and then came the endless urinary infections that ultimately led to having to have him put to sleep. Sometimes I think he was sent to help me cope, but I hate to minimize his life to such a selfish purpose. He was a great cat as were the other two, but I have always felt cheated that he did not get to be part of the happy home we have rebuilt.

posts: 311   ·   registered: May. 13th, 2008   ·   location: east coast
id 6458092
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carnelian ( member #24824) posted at 1:45 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

Both of my cats are clingy. The big one loves to be be held upside down in my arms like a baby - sleep, drool and everything. Whenever I'm sick or really feeling down, he has to be there to make sure everything's all right (or maybe he's checking that Food Giving Person isn't dead yet).

The little one isn't a huge fan of being held, but she loves sleeping nestled against me and rarely leaves my side. She also does this sort of dance when she gets excited (someone at the door, food, etc) - kinda like a dog doing Riverdance. Her back end seems to move independently of her front end, with her tail and butt waggling all over the place. Keeps me smiling!

[This message edited by carnelian at 7:45 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)]

What are you going to do when he leaves you?

posts: 567   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 6458108
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ShellShockedSid ( member #29068) posted at 1:53 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

My 2 dogs and 2 cats deserve most of the credit for keeping my sanity in tact. The walks with the dogs cleared my head better than anything else. The kitties obvious compassion and allowing me to cry into their fur was so comforting. Then, they would do silly things to make me laugh, even when I thought the end of the world was near.

And -- they are such good listeners. Not judgmental, no bad advice, just listening.

I am eternally grateful to my pets for getting thru this mess.

BW: 47 me
FWH: 50
DDay: 1/22/2010
Reconciling.
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh

posts: 344   ·   registered: Jul. 16th, 2010
id 6458117
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whatamidoing ( member #37152) posted at 2:38 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

When WH abandon us prior to DD I bought my son a puppy

It was Christmas time and my son was talking about wanting to be with his dad and his dad would get him a dog

So like a child I beat him to it and paid way too much for a dog I never wanted

But what a blessing

He is comforting and fun and comic relief and we all love him

A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself
_________________________________
BS Me 43
WH 42
DD June 2nd '12
LTA (2+ yrs)
False R Many times from July '12 till now forced D
OW: acting like she is the wife

posts: 191   ·   registered: Oct. 16th, 2012   ·   location: Guelph
id 6458166
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niaveone ( member #40317) posted at 3:02 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

Mine is kind of the opposite. My dog was a wandering dog we took in while in false R last year. Thought we were in real R at the time, and to think how much time and energy WS put into this dog while screwing around on us and pretending he was putting in the effort with me and the kids....well, even though this is a pretty good dog; I can't bring myself to say I love it because the god itself is kind of a trigger for me. And it pisses me off to no end, because this dog LOVES me and I'm an animal lover at heart. Another thing to take away from me.

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married: 24 years
2 children
2 DDays
Reconciling

posts: 511   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2013
id 6458200
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1ost0ne ( member #40202) posted at 3:29 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

My dog has provided me lots of love, but she loves everyone in the family unconditionally, even the WW. It would be nice to go through life with the dog's attitude. A warm bed, good food and a solid backrub and I'll love you forver.

“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
― Maya Angelou

posts: 96   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2013
id 6458237
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Brokenhearted18 ( new member #39453) posted at 6:23 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

I was just thinking about this yesterday. I am so very glad to have the comfort of my dog. She is a rescue. A Chihuaua/Jack Russell mix. She follows me everywhere. I REALLY MEAN EVERYWHERE. And she loves to sleep next to me. The little dog likes to spoon. No matter how often I toss and turn in the night she hops over me and likes to sleep curled up next to me.

You can not adjust the wind.
But you can adjust the sail.

#1 BD 4/13
Then R ( at least I thought I was in R )
#2 BD 1/15
Hired atty 3/15
Divorcing

posts: 23   ·   registered: Jun. 5th, 2013   ·   location: S.California
id 6458384
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mel88 ( member #18862) posted at 6:41 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

My cats saved my life.

"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

posts: 641   ·   registered: Mar. 27th, 2008
id 6458394
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Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 7:11 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

@williesmom...your story about your collie reminded me of my sisters little

mini doxie. Her ws came home, my sis confronted him about ow. He got loud, yelling and such. The dog was on the bed and ws had his ass facing the bed. The dog must have felt my sis was being threatened so she jumped towards her ws and latched onto his left butt cheek. So picture a man with a doxie hanging from his,ass as he's trying to reach behind him and pull her off...priceless

BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

posts: 5738   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6458402
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cantaccept ( member #37451) posted at 2:41 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

My cocker spaniel was the biggest source of comfort and love for me while h was gone.

Every night as I cried and just let out my primal screams, he was there.

I mean right there, face pressed against mine and I swear he was hugging me. He would keep his paws around my neck for hours.

He slept curled up against me every night.

He followed me everywhere even at 2am.

I could tell that my screams frightened him but he never left my lap.

Even now everytime I cry, he is there ready to comfort and love.

I love him more than I ever thought possible.

"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

posts: 3505   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 6458509
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aesir ( member #17210) posted at 2:53 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

I know cuddling with one of my cats helped me sleep many nights. When I was sleeping on the couch with the TV on to distract me, it was hard to feel bad when my Squirrely Girlie would claw her way inside my sweater to sit on my chest.

Not just my own pets, but there were many sleepless nights here back in the day where threads became suicide watch. It was always so much easier when the one we were watching had pets, a discussion of their cats or dogs, and who would look after them and how they needed their person was one of the most effective ways to get a person through those dark nights.

Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.

posts: 14924   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2007   ·   location: Winnipeg
id 6458521
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shatteredheart7 ( member #39734) posted at 2:56 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

I love my dog. She is my baby girl. I got her when she was nothing but a tiny ball of fur at 10 weeks old. She is now almost 9 yrs old. She loves everyone and loves to cuddle up with me. But sometimes I find myself looking at her and thinking, "OW touched her too". I know she did, he brought her to our home our bed while I was out of town. My dog greets everyone with kisses. I don't love her any less, but damn that hurts.

Our cat on the other hand doesn't like people. She is a rescue and it took her 2 yrs to even come around us. When someone comes here she hides, even after being with us for 6 yrs. So she is "safe" for me. I know that OW didn't touch her, probably didn't even see her when she was here.

Just another thing taken away from me.

Me~40
FWH~46
Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!

posts: 240   ·   registered: Jul. 2nd, 2013
id 6458523
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