Here is the copy of the email I received after I politely told him that we are just not a match. -He had other "red flags" that I can go into detail if you guys want more info but here is his response...
I thought it was a bit harsh. He made me out to be some bitch. Please keep in mind that we ONLY met once!
Home again, we didn't work over.
I am amazed at how you have managed this, friendship? Every thing ISN'T about you. Sorry. You continue to ask me questions about (his wife that died). Then you hang, and go over every word and every word that may mean I'm lying, looking for a reason to call me out. Over and over, you have done this. You ask a question, demand total honesty....... cause men lie........ and when you get it, you sit in judgement. Which, of course, places me on the defensive of an event you were not a part of nor do you have a vested interest in the outcome.
The email I sent this morning that set you off was something you asked for, I thought you were ready, maybe not. It was brutally honest about what happened and how I dealt with it. None of it was about you. Your reaction to it is exactly why most SMART men are NOT honest with women. And they get laid and have relationships and lie everyday. They are good at lying so they make money and live in nice neighborhoods and have sex and you know they are lying cause their lips are moving.
If you didn't wish to date, Why were you on a dating site?
If you didn't wish to date me, why did you ask me to drive to XXX?
You said you want a man to protect you. It's his job. This you said. It's on a tape that plays inside your head. They call it a script.
If you don't think I'm good enough cause of my car and was a deal breaker, Good.
If you think I act needy and I tell you I haven't had sex since the Fall of '07. You are right.
And for both of those things you'll have to live with yourself. But, don't feel special, many women have said those words, not good enough and needy, as they question why I turned down sex with a stranger. After they tell me they don't want a man that sleeps around. It's part of a script too. Tell him to go slow and slower and maybe Uh, never. It's a play to some how get back at an Ex or a Daddy or a mean Man. A tease, a man on a string. How many times must God make me watch this? All these things you have said and done. The bait you had was you didn't want a young, rich guy. I fell for it. But the dance was all the same, over and over.
I hope you find the help you need. Not for me, but for the next guy, so that he will be good enough and you two may be happy together. And some day you'll understand, It's not about me.
I went to a large Church about 18 months after (his wife) passed. I was there for 6 months, every day it was open. I did a mission to MX to help build houses. I was alone for Christmas. I had a meeting with two assistance ministers and my prayer group leader (I was in her house every Tuesday night). I told them I knew people that were not making connections. They turned it into a (his name) bash. I told them it wasn't about me. One of the men said, "God already gave you a wife. What more do you want?" The other man said, "This Church wasn't set up for your personal dating service." The woman, my prayer group leader said, "I would not introduce YOU (very surly) to anyone." I was there to help a woman that I knew, who herself had told me I was not good enough. But she did relate that she had been going to this Church for 6 years and her son told me she cried about being alone, every night. I told these ministers that I would never date anyone from their Church and I am a man of my word. I did ask if they made more money off of the lonely and the desperate then those happily paired up? They told me get out and like you, The Best.
If I am alone, It's cause God wishes me alone. Like Job, it allows SATAN to torment me and show me all that which I am not good enough to receive. It's why I as a man still have the need for sex, but no one to fulfill the need. It's why I know about that which I wrote to you this morning. I got to know, to hear about, but not be a part of, it was smeared in my face. xxx was the woman that laughed at me for crying over my wife's death. She stopped by that day, the day she died to laugh at me.
About 6 weeks before (his wife) died, she told me, everything had been to take care of her, even trips to far off places before she got too sick were for her. She said, soon she would be dead and I would be alone. She thought, and it happens, if she had been a better friend to women there may have been a woman that understood (this happens many times where the best friend marries the surviving spouse, it's human.) She didn't and I have been alone. I hope you never understand this, this alone.
I too, am stopping CM. Too much, BS. Too much drama. Too much. Too much. What I learned was I will live alone and die. It will be better then the past month on CM. Every day I pray to do HIS will and ask for Grace and I ask for Him to please let me go Home. And I pray for everyone that wishes to stay here, to please, stay here FOREVER.
If you wish to talk, you have my number
If you wish to write, I'll read it.
If you wish to ask why this or that from a guy's point of view, a guy that will never, ever have sex with you or want to. Ask.
Bee Sweet,
I was genuinely trying to find a guy. We only saw each other once. If I asked detailed questions, it was b/c I was interested, not b/c I thought he was a liar!
Help me out guys! I am confused. I really was not trying to hurt his feelings. I am sorry if the car is a deal breaker. But there was more. I don't want to get into that b/c I am not trying to bash him. It was just not a connection.
ETA He makes a reference to a woman (stranger) that he met. She apparently wanted to have sex with him but he refused b/c he wanted to get to know her better. (Not sure what that has to do with me. I never brought it up as a bad thing).