Its almost as if the more real D is, the more she tries to R. I do not think she is in an active A, but the I'd say she was a much better candidate when I was good to her.
Any ideas?
Do not back up. Severe tire damage.
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Married over 11 years, together for 20.
DD#1: 12/12/10 - LTA of 3 years, 2 mos. DD#2: 02/02/11 - 2 EA/PA with coworkers, a month after the LTA was ended (by OW).
Funny thing is, as I re-read the thread title I noticed that is what I am turning into with her. My natural disposition is to be nice to the nice, and ignore the mean as much as I can until my back is against the wall then be mean to the mean. It has served me well all these years, except with her.
Maybe the problem is me. The way things are working, she'd be a great wife if we were always just ready to divorce. Maybe its time to get back into MC for a progress assessment. Its been almost two years since we've seen one.
If you are loving, your W faces her own belief she is not lovable. It's easy to avoid dealing with her own shit by getting angry at you for not seeing how unlovable she is.
Just my belief, based on nothing other than speculation and anecdote, but it sure makes sense to me.
