What Aesir said made a lot of sense to me, particularly given the example you gave.
I'll speak for myself now. Your H's "Compassionate Heart" is a positive characteristic. It seems to me that your H needs to get to the negative characteristic, before he can understand "why".
Let me give you an example. This is only an example and is not intended to relate directly to your H. It is intended to illustrate what would be a more fully-developed "why", IMO.
I did not feel safe, comforted and important as a child. This has made me more compassionate towards others who are hurting. This led me to my faith and my profession. But, I am realizing that sometimes I disguise my excessive need for love as a "reaching out" to help others. I do it to satisfy "my" need and not "their" need. Sometimes this leads me to such great fulfillment that I take it beyond the boundaries of what is acceptable.
Peeling back the onion, as Aesir said, may get him there. "Compassion" may be a good point from which he can peel up or down. Communicating all of this is a way that will be received warmly and lovingly may be a challenge. But, that would be a great thing to try. The opposite approach - threatening to leave (which I understand you did not say) because your H's first answer to the problem came up as "compassion" - in this situation strikes me as threatening to leave if he doesn't solve a calculus problem, and the most math he's ever had is Algebra II.
Good luck to you and your H.
[This message edited by nomistakeaboutit at 7:10 AM, September 21st (Saturday)]