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CATransplant posted 9/22/2013 10:45 AM

Sorry for the mental language. This is just another very bad day. My H and I seem to be headed in the other direction lately. We have not had the typical fights or disagreements in our relationship ever. We are trying to overcome the mistake he made and have tried to read everything we can get our hands on, trying to make sense of it all. It seems the more we read the more we become self conscious and instead of moving towards each other, we now have elephants everywhere to do battle with... Oh well the reason I chose to open my mouth this morning is because it struck me that I now see nothing but advertisements asking " Is He Cheating" "How to catch a Cheater" "HOW DO YOU KNOW HE/SHE IS CHEATING?"plastered all over my computer daily. It is like being subconsciously brain washed. I have found that it is affecting me and my moods and setting off triggers. I seem to want to check things out more never comfortable with the answers. I seem to be very agitated when I have spent some time on the computer reading articles which I found on the internet. I feel edgy and can't figure out why. I look back and the last few weeks and realize I have become unreasonable, and sometimes down right hostile towards him. He has not given me any reason to do so either. The reactions are over the top of the pain, disappointment and anger I have feel to this point. These feelings occur and are understandable. Any of you experienced this issue and if so what helps?

LosferWords posted 9/22/2013 18:21 PM

I had very similar triggers early on with the computer, CATransplant. It really sucked, because I earn my living writing software on a computer. There were times where nothing would help other than taking a walk and getting some fresh air. Definitely try to take a break from the computer when these triggers occur. So sorry you are having to deal with that pain and anxiety.

aesir posted 9/22/2013 18:32 PM

I can offer some help with the ads. Sign out of gmail (sign out, not just close)and use incognito or privacy mode on your browser. This will stop a lot of the ads that are targeted based on your browsing history. Might make your day a little easier, and improve your mood.

RedRose posted 9/22/2013 18:49 PM

I find that every book I read now has a character having an affair. Maybe I just didn't notice how prevalent it was in books before, but it seems I can't avoid it now! So frustrating, especially when you are trying to do something to keep your mind off of it!

hardtimesinlife posted 9/22/2013 21:21 PM

Don't discount the fact that you might be entering the anger phase of recovery. It is very hard not to be agitated and edgy during that phase.