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Wtf? I thought I had blocked her!!

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Tired05 posted 9/28/2013 21:35 PM

Just got a message from OW who I thought I had blocked, how did she get unblocked????

(B is my WH)

"Hey I didn't want to have to write you but B has me blocked on everything I just need to know if there's any sort of family medical history I need to know about like any problems I should prepare for? I was just getting questioned by the doctor the other day about his hearing because he failed his hearing test when he was born and they said if I could find out about B's history I should. I mean he's fine now because he passed his retest last week I'm just making sure I shouldn't be worried about it."

She's fishing right?

Ambergray posted 9/28/2013 21:39 PM

Was it a cell phone that you blocked her from? I just found out, and verified it myself that the block only lasts 3 months and then you have to go back in and re-block.

Tired05 posted 9/28/2013 21:46 PM

She must have made a new profile just to fuck with me....

FTbitch. OMG. I just want to delete fb completely. Is she stalking me? She just had a baby, she shouldn't have time to stalk little ol' me???

Tired05 posted 9/28/2013 21:57 PM

It was facebook.

Apparently she made a new account and messaged me...

I just blocked that one immediately, no response.

She probably just wants to remind me that her and OC exist and they are happy with her new H.

I'm so mad. I was quite enjoying my no contact. Will she forever haunt me?

cuppacoffee posted 9/28/2013 22:00 PM


I can see that she's interested in her baby It's probably a fishing expedition.

How old is the baby? Like don't you think if she was really concerned she could have asked then?

Tired05 posted 9/28/2013 22:06 PM

I don't know how old he is. Anywhere from 2 months to like 4 wks. When she got married at 7 months pregnant we all went NC. I don't want to know his birth day. It will become a horrible trigger for the next few years everyday it rolls around.

cuppacoffee posted 9/28/2013 22:09 PM

exactly- why now? the new husband must have pissed her off so she tried contacting you.

You did the right thing but she is probably going to try to pull this stuff for a long time.

aesir posted 9/28/2013 22:14 PM

Okay, so there has been 4 months of NC, she has gotten married to someone else, and had a child, then contacts you requesting information about the fathers medical history.

Maybe I am naive, but I think it is worth considering the possibility that she wants medical information about her child's father.

Tired05 posted 9/28/2013 22:14 PM

Probably. She has a newborn!!! She shouldn't have time to devise ways to rear her skanky head back into my life.

I guess i'm just ranting and venting. But omg, will I ever escape?

Tired05 posted 9/28/2013 22:18 PM

Maybe she does, but why didn't she ask before NC was established?

She had 7 months to ask, but she doesn't take interest until after she sees that we are actually sticking to NC?

I'm not trying to arguing with you, I just highly doubt that she doesn't have fishing motivations. Why did she create a new account and contact me instead of him? We both have her blocked, so if she creates a new FB with neither of us blocking her...why am I the one she contacts?

[This message edited by Tired05 at 10:23 PM, September 28th (Saturday)]

Dreamland posted 9/28/2013 22:29 PM

Honestly I wouldn't care if she has a newborn or what. Maybe she should have asked him what his medical history was before she fucking him without protection.

Tired05 posted 9/28/2013 22:34 PM

Yes, I agree. I have a screencap a facebook message of her saying she got pregnant on purpose. She should have thought of all of that then, and those 7 months before NC.

Obviously WH should have found his brain and shoved it back into his head in the first place, but I mean, seriously...

[This message edited by Tired05 at 10:36 PM, September 28th (Saturday)]

silverhopes posted 9/28/2013 23:06 PM

Hmm... if the medical history is necessary, would there be a way for your H to communicate directly with the doctor's office rather than with her? Or, if there are lawyers or court involved, could a request for the information be made and delivered through a third party?

Tired05 posted 9/28/2013 23:29 PM

That would be reasonable if she contacted through lawyers or something legal that would show she wasn't just trying to poke the ashes.

Nothing legal is going on (right now). She says this guy is the dad now.

When WH gets back from overseas he can always visit an L and see what he can do, but I wouldn't withhold information if it was truly needed for the child. I just don't want to give her ego kibble or forever have power to hurl new darts at me with "questions about the baby" when WH isn't even parenting. Just USING the baby to be a bitch.

[This message edited by Tired05 at 11:34 PM, September 28th (Saturday)]

Josephine01 posted 9/29/2013 00:45 AM

I don't know much about FB but isn't there a way to make it so your profile can't be seen by anyone but your friends? I don't know if this includes the IM part. But, take your profile pic off and go incognito? I know that is not fair HUGS . . . Just a thought.

aesir posted 9/29/2013 02:52 AM

Most people actually try to avoid using lawyers as much as possible because they are generally inefficient, add to conflict, are expensive, and just not regarded very highly. Of course by most people I mean me, but...

As far as her not asking medical history before getting pregnant, well I understand it upsets you that she got pregnant on purpose, but imagine how much more upsetting it would have been had she taken a medical history first. I can only imagine the trauma had your husband actually jumped through a bunch of hoops to qualify before impregnating her. If she really is as manipulative as you describe, he probably would have jumped through those hoops anyway.

Bobbi_sue posted 9/29/2013 05:41 AM

Most people actually try to avoid using lawyers as much as possible because they are generally inefficient, add to conflict, are expensive, and just not regarded very highly. Of course by most people I mean me, but...

Me too.

She may be fishing, or she may have thought that was actually a good way to get the info. that she sort of decided she needed all of a sudden. If she got preg on purpose while having an A, I don't blame you for being suspicous of her motives; that is for sure.

Tired05 posted 9/29/2013 08:17 AM

I didn't really expect her to ask for med history while planning to get pregnant, but during that time frame where she was hooking her claws into this new guy. Did she assume WH would always be at her beck and call even if new dad is now THE dad? Did she want to keep her foot in the door of the M? Or did she simply lack foresight.

I feel like shit and a little childish. A simple few words, impersonal quick, and to the point could work, but if she gets that...will she keep pushing??? Will that open up the floodgate? Will she always have some excuse to talk to WH 'because of the baby, even though WH isn't having to pay child support or getting visitation?

So is she honestly and truthfully worried about her child or is she using the child to continue contact and insert herself back into the M? Is it a little of both?

If I just give her a quick med summary (give an inch) will she take a mile?

ETA- Also, there isn't anything big in his family to speak of, outside of his mother's anxiety and depression. So since there isn't anything she needs to worry about like a case of deafness or cancer or whathaveyou, then the kid wouldn't benefit from a response. So do I respond to give her piece of mind in exchange for me having to deal with everything that comes with repeated broken NC? Fuck her piece of mind.

I don't wanna leave the door cracked open for the rest of my life so she can peek her eyes through and keep me in a state of anxiety and sadness.

[This message edited by Tired05 at 8:43 AM, September 29th (Sunday)]

gonnabe2016 posted 9/29/2013 08:59 AM

I think that it is a possibility that this contact is legit. Ugh-worthy, for sure, but perhaps without nefarious intent.

Yes, she had a lot of time to ask about your WH's medical history previously. But sometimes people don't even really think about it until an issue arises. Such as when the child encounters some medical issue and the doc turns to the parent and asks whether <that> issue is present in any other family members, kwim? And since that is what seems to have happened here......I can see why she contacted you now.

As for why, if she set up a dummy account, she contacted you instead of your WH? Maybe she did it because she *wasn't* trying to cause trouble. She contacts you with her request and that way you receive the message and know what was said, kwim? She can't be accused of reaching out to your WH. I've read about some others in an OC situation and it seems that a lot of them have any contact run through the BS in order to minimize contact between the WH and OW.

You could either respond that there are no problems that you are aware of that she should prepare for in regards to the health of the baby; OR you guys can give her permission to share your WH's contact info with the baby's pediatrician and if there's ever any concern about medical history, then the doctor's office is allowed to contact him directly.

Josephine01 posted 9/29/2013 10:31 AM

This thread hits close to home. I know how you feel, you have every right to. But, i too was placed in this situation by my mother (OW) and her Married AP.

Personal feelings and hurt aside. The child does need to know his or her health history. Please find a way without contacting OW to give that info. Thats really the least your wh can do for this child. You dont deserve any of this. I know this.

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