I so understand how you feel. My father passed away on July 9th. We had his Celebration of Life at my house on our family farm on Saturday the 27th.
I still have my mom, but she has dementia and will be coming to live with me when I get her out of rehab on Friday. She's my mom....but not really my mom anymore, if you know what I mean.
I don't know if you have any siblings, (I'm an only child), but don't be afraid to ask for a shoulder to lean on right now.
The grief of losing a parent is huge. Just.....huge. My cousins and friends have really come through for me during this time. All I had to do was swallow my pride and ask for help. They were just waiting for a clue from me on how exactly they COULD help.
My heart goes out to you. Even though we know this is something that was coming, there is truly no way to prepare yourself for the unexpected meltdowns you find yourself having.
I broke down in tears in the grocery store today. I was shopping along, picked up a package of honey-stung wings (my dad's favorite), and then it hit me all over again that he isn't here to eat them. I had to leave the store.
I wish I was there to give you a big, huge, real-life hug. This stuff is so much harder than I thought it would be. I'm a strong woman, and this has brought me to my knees more times than I care to think about.
Blessings to you LadyV. I'll keep you in my prayers.Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.