SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Has anyone lived together after the divorce?

No, but why would you want to?

I lived with my ex for four months after DD and three months after filing for D. It was hell.

oh hell no!! I could not get away from that loser soon enough.

I saw quite a bit of this from 2008 - 2011. Couples who were underwater on their mortgages and could not afford to sell were stuck in the same house. Usually the guy set up a separate apartment in the basement. That would be my version of hell.

I would have rather drilled screws in my face than live with him after D. I understand financial issues and that people sometimes have to make big sacrifices post D to get back on their feet. But, honestly, I would have done anything in that situation to avoid living with him for one more second.

An unremorseful wayward would think nothing of doing exactly as he/she pleases. That means getting ready for dates, spending all hours on the phone, coming home late, not coming home at all, etc., and unless you have so detached that you can honestly say none of that would matter, it would be a version of hell on earth that I would try to avoid like the plague.

I have a coworker who lives with his exwife.

He came down with throat cancer shortly after getting divorced but had no friends or family help him during treatment so she let him move in. That was 6-7 years ago i believe.

I asked how in the world he handled that. His response was he and his ex get along so much better now that they aren't married. go figure.

In my case, not even if hell froze over. I wouldn't do that to my son. It gives kids hope that things will go back to "normal" and when it doesn't, it tears them up. Divorce is hard enough without compounding it unnecessarily.

There was someone last year who had her ex as a roommate for a while. Can't remember which member that was, though, or how it turned out.

Any other veterans remember this?

Nik, I do remember that, but not who it was. I don't believe kids were involved though.

When we were in the discussions of D, I thought this was do'able.

In hindsight, I am SOOO glad I never went down that road.

Healing would of not been the same.

I am not sure if you are asking this for yourself or a friend. If for yourself - it doesn't sound like a good person to be roomies with (anger, lies, playing games with the kids, etc). Your home should be your own safe zone - a healthy place for you and your children.

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 3:29 PM, August 15th (Thursday)]

I'm in the middle of living with STBX and it's pure hell on earth. He has zero regard for my feelings because he's "moving on with his life."

I'm still there for legal reasons, but could do without the show. Even though I filed for D and have healed a lot, it still triggers me and hurts because there is so much deep unresolved pain.

Suckstobeme put it best:

An unremorseful wayward would think nothing of doing exactly as he/she pleases. That means getting ready for dates, spending all hours on the phone, coming home late, not coming home at all, etc., and unless you have so detached that you can honestly say none of that would matter, it would be a version of hell on earth that I would try to avoid like the plague.

It really all depends on the character of your ex and how considerate and thoughtful he is of other people.

There was someone last year who had her ex as a roommate for a while. Can't remember which member that was, though, or how it turned out.

Any other veterans remember this?

Sunny...something.

I think her name had Sunny in it, but I can recall either.

I'm with the previous posters though. I could not fathom living with XWH after D.

It was bad enough that it took him a couple of months to find an apartment the last time I asked him to leave.

He would "work late", but come home dressed up.

In the meantime, I had to keep it together for the kids and not unleash verbal hell on him every time I saw that smug, smarmy look on his face.

Ugh....he's so lucky I didnt poison him or beat him to death in his sleep. I'm not fond of the idea of going to prison.

Sunny...something.

I think her name had Sunny in it, but I can recall either.

Sunnysideup?

^^^ That sounds right to me - and as I recall it was working fine for them.

Sunnysideup?

Yep! That's it, I think!

My DD's friend's parents live together. We didn't even know they were divorced until after we all went out to dinner (before a dance) and the parents didn't sit next to each other. When X and I mentioned it, DD told us they had divorced, then moved in together a few years later to co-parent and save money. It works for them, and my X and I may consider it later when emotions have died down.

[This message edited by stillstrong at 7:14 PM, August 15th (Thursday)]

No. Did in house separation and that was hell on earth.

Yuck. And also no.

Also did the in-house separation... that was bad enough.

Besides... my XWH probably wouldn't have wanted me to live with him after the D since he married the OW one month later... that might have been a bit awkward.

I cannot think of anything worse.

I had quite a few months after we settled on divorce where we lived together. It was not that bad, but really required getting my head in the right place to not be worrying about what she did and such. I could not have done it if I was angry, or not able to detach.