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What book needs to be written about infidelity?

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bionicgal posted 8/22/2013 08:02 AM

I am so impressed with these ideas. So many smart and thoughtful people here.

livvylou posted 8/24/2013 11:34 AM

A book I read recently about a reconciled couple is Beyond Ordinary by Justin & Trisha Davis. They are a Christian couple (he is a pastor) that struggled with infidelity, have reconciled, have 3 boys, & want to help others.
It was an interesting read for me, as it is the most similar to my life.

MoreWould posted 8/24/2013 11:47 AM

Letters From the Fog would be good, but I think it' s a big section in the mythical Wayward' s Handbook. If I ever find a copy of the WH, I'll personally finance the reprint.

Every BS and WS could benefit but the folks who really need to read it probably won't. That would be everybody tempted to go off the rails, get married, or get out of bed in the morning.

[This message edited by MoreWould at 11:47 AM, August 24th (Saturday)]

yousaid4ever posted 8/24/2013 17:41 PM

Still-Living; I like your idea about the 12 Step book. I CHOSE to deal with my WH several affairs by denial, over-eating, pain pills and alcohol. I'm in recovery now, for myself, but wonder if I would have had these addictions if I had not had to try and cope with WH affairs. A book about how other BS coped would be an interesting read,

ccw82 posted 8/24/2013 18:19 PM

I would write a book called, "Choice and Consequences" for those considering cheating on their spouses. It would be a preventative book that would highlight real-life consequences faced by WSs (and of course their BSs), and urge potential WSs to go into counseling BEFORE the A!!!

Or we could name it the much less subtle, "Don't F-ing Cheat, Dumbass!"

myperfectlife posted 8/24/2013 20:34 PM

I definitely like the "before you cheat" book, but it would have to be titled and marketed very creatively.
Obviously there's a huge segment of people who think they would never cheat and therefore wouldn't pick up the book in the first place.
Maybe a title like "Something just isn't right."
Or " A short guide to fooling yourself"
Maybe " Before you regret it"
Or " What you're not telling your spouse."
Or even title it with phrases that Ws's use when they're starting to go into the fog.
"I deserve to be happy too."
"You don't make me happy, but they will."
"I would never do that to you"
"Don't you trust me?"
"We're just friends"
"No one has made me feel this way before."
"It must be love."
"I can't help myself."
It would be difficult to market to that niche who is right on the edge, because they are already starting to rationalize the thought of having a relationship outside the marriage. They may not see what they are thinking will cause all these consequences.
One thing my WS has said over and over again is that he didn't think about the consequences of what he was doing. He was high on that feeling and just felt like things would work out and take care of themselves.
Obviously a pre-Affair book would have to be strongly worded yet smooth, and also have plenty of very specific examples and personal stories of people and how they've been affected by infidelity.
It could be very interesting.

Steppenwolf posted 8/24/2013 21:29 PM

Anyone who is unfaithful turns into a zombie and eventually dies... Unless

They go to IC, MC, get 180'd, spend countless hours of their days reading an online forum for those affected by infidelity, work on their whys, write their timelines, become emotionally available, avoid any TT etc.
Only after all of this, and continuous work might they have a chance of becoming a non-zombie again. Possibly even a better, more authentic human.

ccw82 posted 8/24/2013 23:18 PM

Oh! I just thought of another pre-cheating title:

"Not Worth It!"

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