SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

shatteredapart posted 1/14/2014 07:37 AM

I have my doctor's appointment late this morning. I'm going to have my (way overdue...by years) yearly womanly checkup and std testing done. I'm so uncomfortable and freaked out over this. I'm praying she doesn't ask why because I'll just start hysterically crying right there. Is there any other testing I should ask for? WH continues to swear it wasn't a PA but I don't trust what he says at all. I'm so devastated by the whole thing.
At least he's been supportive and told me to call him when I'm done. He would've gone but I couldn't get an early morning appointment before he left for work. He still has to get his testing done. I just want this "step" over so I can move forward with more answers.
And one more question... He was married before (16 yrs ago) and his xW cheated on him. Yes, go figure! He never had any testing done. Neither have I. Naive, I realize that now. So is it possible for something to show up from that long ago?

[This message edited by shatteredapart at 7:43 AM, January 14th (Tuesday)]

ScaredMama posted 1/14/2014 09:02 AM

I just had to do this last week. I'm sorry you have to go through it too. I just had a baby in May so I had seen my OB/GYN very regularly for that. She knew what had happened as soon as she saw what I was there for. She gave me the name of a good counselor too. I wouldn't think that anything would be dormant for over 16 years but that would be a good question for your doc. Its humiliating to have all of that done and I'm sorry you have to do this.

shatteredapart posted 1/14/2014 09:17 AM

Thank you for your support ScaredMama. I have to leave soon and all I want to do is throw up followed by curling up and crying hysterically. But I know I'll get through this. I've never been to this doctor before. We only moved here 15 months ago (500+ miles). This was the only thing I haven't taken care of as far as doctors and medical things are concerned. What a horrible reason to have to go now. To top it off I hatehaving my blood drawn because I have such tiny veins. This will surely be a horrible and humiliating experience. How long before you got your results back? I hope they came back negative.

[This message edited by shatteredapart at 9:19 AM, January 14th (Tuesday)]

iamsoblind42 posted 1/14/2014 09:20 AM

I'm going to the doctor today too.

Prayer for us..."God give us the strength to get through this and bless us and please do not let us have an STD."

Can't stop crying today...

Healing2012 posted 1/14/2014 09:31 AM

My heart hurts for anyone who has to go through this process. I was at my OB/GYN for my yearly and as soon as she asked how everything was going, I started to cry. You know what? She was wonderful, compassionate, and discrete. I asked her advice on what to get tested for and we both agreed that for peace of mind, get tested for everything.

I was embarrassed. She delivered my DS. She knew my WH. We were all joking around while I was in labor (post epidural of course). It took some time, but I realized that I had nothing to be ashamed of. I did nothing wrong. In fact...I was doing something right by taking care of my health.

You all can do this. I have faith

Sharpie4 posted 1/14/2014 09:33 AM

I am so sorry. Try not to be embarressed or upset (easier said than done). The doctor does this type of testing for many reasons all the time. You might want to call the OBGYN who delivered your babies. It is standard procedure where I was seen/delivered to test pregnant women for STDs as it can affect the baby. It is part of the initial screening. You might have been tested without realizing it.

[This message edited by Sharpie4 at 9:36 AM, January 14th (Tuesday)]

Siouxsie posted 1/14/2014 10:15 AM

Funny story--I had my annual 5 months after starting dating my then bf (now W EXH). I threw the std testing in for good measure, he said he was tested after his last relationship. So imagine my surprise when my doc calls me at work to tell me I have an STD! And stupid me, I didn't leave him! I should have realized then maybe he did get tested after his last relationship but all the slutty whores and one night stands after that he probably was with weren't accounted for in that test!

Fast forward 7 years, he's cheating with god knows how many women. I make an appt with the same doctor for testing and utterly break down in the exam. And you know what? She was so unbelievably nice and understanding. So truly, if you cry or lose it, don't be worried. You weren't whoring around, so there is no need for judgement.

But obviously get blood drawn for the full panel including HIV. and make sure to confirm that they will call you either way with the results. Mine only normally calls if there is a problem, but while waiting for that phone call, you go a bit crazy wondering if your phone didnt register the call.
And from my experience, even having a "silent" type of infection, I knew something was up.

Bikingguy posted 1/14/2014 10:33 AM

The fallout from learning of an A effects us mentally as well as pysically. I too was very nervous about my yearly check up with my dr. Side note I rarely go to a dr and so he really does not know me well. Anyway I think your dr should know what is going on in your life. And when mine said my blood pressure was high I responded "I am not surprised". He asked me what was going on and I told him. He was very compassionate and asked enough to ensure I was getting help but not too much as to pry. I am sure I was not the first tell him that. I asked for a complete set of std tests and they did them the next day.

iamsoblind42 posted 1/14/2014 11:47 AM

Good news, lab had me and out within 5 minutes. Cried the whole time. My doc that wrote the order said I could stay in his office all day if I needed to. When he asked me what was wrong I lost it. Glad I did it. Now just excruciating hours till results. If any of you are the praying type please pray none of us has an STD. Thanks...

[This message edited by iamsoblind42 at 2:03 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)]

wanttogoforward posted 1/14/2014 16:33 PM

Most doctors are very compassionate when these issues arise... they are human too and I'd bet many have been BS's as well!

My doctor tested me again for stds recently due to having sever abdominal pain... and ovary pain. Thankfully they were negative again... or there would have been some serious discussions with H. He knew when I went it it was likely with female pain she would want to do some tests. She didn't even actually tell me what she was testing for other than "vag infections" which to me could be anything.... she did tests for the most common stds. I was grateful she didn't get specific because I might have become very paranoid had she mentioned it.... you all know how the BS mind works!
I hope everything works out well for you and the tests are negative.

AppalachianGal posted 1/14/2014 19:34 PM

I went last week and had everything done. I cried at the receptionist's desk. I totally LOST IT on the poor nurse that asked "so why are you here today?" and then, during the lab work, I said Psalm 23 over and over. I told my WH that a faithful wife should not have to go through that. He agreed. Hope we all have negative tests!!!

StillStanding1 posted 1/14/2014 19:42 PM

It took me a long time to follow the advice given here and get myself in for the STD check.

I saw the my GYN's nurse practitioner which was kind of a relief since my GYN had delivered my son and we have a mutual friend. I didn't want to face her. I, too, was horrified and ashamed and cried.

Sadly, she told me that she sees someone almost every day who needs testing.... I am sad every time I see the new member count go up on this website.

I will say a prayer for you and for everyone facing this humiliation currently for a good "negative" result. The nurse was kind enough to call with good news for me. I hope yours will do the same.

May God be with us all.

nomoredreams posted 1/14/2014 20:11 PM

Drats! I wish I had seen this thread this morning. I just had to do this last month. Much to my surprise, herpes is not included in a standard STD panel. Your doctor has to specifically write it on the orders. Go figure. Hopefully, hearing why you needed the testing prompted your doctors to request the test. Please, when you call for your results, make sure it was done...and if you are positive, they can tell you if it is simplex 1 or 2 and if it is a new exposure or something you have had for years without an outbreak!

Oh, the crap my WH has taught me.

Prayers for all. nmd

purplejacket4 posted 1/14/2014 20:31 PM

Remember your doctor might also be a BS. I know I am.

We don't test for herpes because they are incredibly expensive tests and if a person is positive with IgG it means they could have been infected anywhere from two months ago to 50+ years ago. Unless you know for sure you are negative it isn't that helpful. Especially since you can get type 1 or 2 through sex or just using a friend's blistex.

shatteredapart posted 1/15/2014 08:20 AM

Thank you everyone for the support. I made it through without tears. I think what made it easier for me is I scheduled my annual exam at the same time. We've only been in the area 15 months so I didn't know the NP who saw me. She was so kind! I had to tell her I needed std testing because they misunderstood and had me down for a tb test. Ugh. She said I didn't need to explain. I just gave her the minimum. ..not sure what's going on but I may have been exposed. Yada yada. She totally understood. Like many of you she offered to call me with the results either way. I should know by Friday. She explained the tests and explained about herpes. I said yes I wanted to know. The type 2 is transmitted through sex so I know I've never been exposed to anyone but my husband. I've only been with 2 others and they put on condoms before coming anywhere close to there. My hubby could possibly have been exposed before so we'll see. I'm not explaining that to him. I almost want something to come back positive so I can say, there's my proof it was a PA. Sick, I know.

[This message edited by shatteredapart at 8:21 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)]

iamsoblind42 posted 1/15/2014 11:01 AM

shatteredapart - you do not want a positive STD. Do not even think that. Do you really want proof of a PA?

Take it from someone that walked in on the act, you don't!!!

Caught my lying, cheating , sack of s$%! with my BF (XBF) Friday night while her sick, demented WH watched. Hey, progress, just realized I have moved to angry phase : )

BS: 42
WH: 48 - also admitted to 2 other ONS
XBF and her WH: 48
M: 18
K: 2
DDAY: 01/11/2014
Moving towards legal separation

nomoredreams posted 1/15/2014 14:18 PM

shattered...type one can go down below also courtesy of sex. Didn't know that either, till I got the dx. You do not want it. You just want peace. Prayers. M.

And yeah the testing is expensive if your insurance doesn't cover it and you want tested every which way they can test so you have every little bit of info they can give. But, WH gave me the shit, so he can pay for the tests.

TheWrongedMan posted 1/15/2014 15:23 PM

Prayer for us..."God give us the strength to get through this and bless us and please do not let us have an STD."

Firstly, Iamsoblind, like a lot of things you say, this made me laugh.

Secondly, my wife is booked in for it all tomorrow. How long does it take to get results?

LonelySilhouette posted 1/15/2014 15:26 PM

I told my WH that a faithful wife should not have to go through that.

I told mine that thanks to his "girlfriend experiences" - the hookers call them GFEs, I had to go through the utterly humiliating "real life wife experience."

iamsoblind42 posted 1/15/2014 23:06 PM

How long does it take to get results?

I have not heard anything yet. Will let you know when I do. They said 24-48 hours but no news yet.