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therapy talk on trust

Neverbeblindagain posted 9/15/2017 21:33 PM

well, as we all know, I will sometimes post about my session when it is on something I feel will be good for others to read and think about so here we go!

Trust and Value of oneself go hand in hand. IF you do not see yourself as invaluable or "worth" all that much, then you may sell your trust cheaply.

How much do you see yourself being worth?

hard to figure out right? even if you put a $ or # on your value, it is still hard to figure out for a number of reasons
a) the amount you love yourself
b) how you think others view you can hinder your value in your head
c) past experience can cause you to doubt your worth
D) not living an exciting life can cause you to feel not worth much

the list goes on and on.

I, NBBA, DO NOT KNOW MY WORTH. I never have. no one has told me or shown me I have worth or how it's possible to make my worth. I have tried to take what I do as my worth. I cook, I clean, the kids are taken care of. that is how I equate my worth. which is so F'd and unhealthy.

now onto trust.

Brene Brown has a video on trust which I watched today. my take is that we all are jars. Like a mason jar, that can be filled up or emptied at will with marbles. those marbles are trust. I put a marble in Billy's jar when he does something that makes me trust him.
When the jar is full we fully trust this person and chose to share our story, our true self, with this person because " they have shown they can be trust. That's why their jar is full"

two things can happen when someone is given that kind of trust/power. they can either cherish it as the gift it is, or abuse and take advantage of it.

if it goes south we need to look at somethings.

*Did we sell our self worth short and take crumbs as signs of trust?

*Did we take any action as a sign of trust instead of a consistent action? consistent actions are worth so much more as they speak of the integrity of that individual and how they value YOU.

* are we wanting the companionship that comes with trust badly enough that we chose to trust fully before the jar was even half way full?

^all these things^ mean one thing to me.
we sold ourselves short.

how can we fix this? F*** if I know, but for me I am taking a long hard, dirty look at what my worth is on the inside. Im also going to bust out the old memory bank and do a 360 look at who I have trusted in my life and compare who I still trust to this day and who I don't and compare their marbles. Hopefully I will see a common denominator and work from there.

[This message edited by Neverbeblindagain at 9:34 PM, September 15th (Friday)]

still-living posted 9/16/2017 04:42 AM

Trust and Value of oneself go hand in hand.

Similarly: You must be able to trust yourself before you can trust others.

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