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Ex brother-in-law died

SeanFLA posted 3/4/2018 11:18 AM

Got some sad news this week. My ex brother-in-law passed away at 48 years old from complications involving routine surgery. Guess his heart stopped during surgery for six minutes. Although they revived him he died a few days later in ICU. Had to attend the memorial services yesterday. It was the first time I've seen my ex and my former in-laws in probably five years. I feel terrible for them but felt showing up was the right thing to do since my high school aged son was going to be there and he was very close to his uncle. I know this is the first time he's had to really deal with death. So I sat with him of course during the service.

Not really sure how I feel today. In all honesty I'm still angry deep inside over what she did to me and how she treated me afterwards (no true remorse, filing for divorce on me, etc.) She always acts like nothing she did was terribly wrong. Worse part is he died last Sunday and I was never told until I got a text from his widow late Thursday night. Even though I went out to dinner with my son he never said anything about it. Found out he's having a difficult time with the passing, so maybe he didn't want to bring it up at dinner. It was so odd. My ex couldn't even text me about it? I kind of felt like an idiot with my son and now I need to talk to him about it tonight. Just shows you how much she's changed. Seriously makes me think about never getting married ever again. Who needs the headaches again...ever.

[This message edited by SeanFLA at 10:50 AM, March 10th (Saturday)]

hardtimesinlife posted 3/4/2018 12:06 PM

Maybe your son thought you already knew. It does suck that your xw didn't tell you.

hardtimesinlife posted 3/4/2018 12:06 PM


[This message edited by hardtimesinlife at 12:06 PM, March 4th (Sunday)]

Jls0320 posted 3/4/2018 12:26 PM

I didnít know my ex fil died, until my kids (4&7) at the time, told me about the funeral. I was upset they were dragged to t since they didnít even know him, and upset I wasnít told so I could pay my respects. Not sure I wouldíve gone though since my exís family completely dislikes me for some reason

smokenfire posted 3/4/2018 13:09 PM

The family only knows what the ex tells them. In my case he's told everyone who would listen that I literally ruined his life :(

So naturally in this instance since they hold biased beliefs it's unlikely they would reach out.

I threw the baby, bathwater, soap, towel and everything out. I don't expect to hear anything no matter what happens. I came to this conclusion when my nephew who I dam near raised and did more for then his own mother blocked me on facebook.

It's colleratal damage, but I am sorry you were hurt by this.

northeasternarea posted 3/4/2018 13:42 PM

Sorry for your loss. My suggestion is that you talk to your son. It was very kind of you to show up to support him.

dreamlife posted 3/4/2018 18:41 PM

I agree.

gardenparty posted 3/6/2018 09:09 AM

Hugs it is hard to lose a family member and I hope your son is doing alright.

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