SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Divorce/Separation

dejavu2 posted 3/7/2018 22:04 PM

I filed for divorce in August 2016 and AM STILL NOT DIVORCED! The average divorce takes 14 months in my state- mine has taken 19 months thus far. I've doled out $13,000 in legal fees plus thousands of additional dollars associated with sale of rental property, appraisals of our retirement accounts, 3 appraisals of our marital home. My STBXH has spent approximately $17,000 more in legal fees. Yet nobody seems to be making any real effort to move things along. The lawyers seem to use any excuse to ask the court for continuance after continuance. His lawyer wrote up a draft settlement agreement wherein my ex, who cheated on me and left my daughter and I for another woman whom he impregnated while we were still together, would get 3/4 of our assets (by law our assets are equalized). A month ago we countered with a fair and equitable alternative and asked for a 4-way meeting to discuss. We've received no response from ex or his lawyer. We are scheduled to return to court in 1 month. I fear that there will be no progress and lawyers will request yet another continuance.

I'm so frustrated. I hate being married to this slime ball husband who has replaced our daughter and I with another family consisting of OW and their 1-year-old son. I'm driving around in an 11-year-old car with 200,000 miles on it that keeps breaking down but I can't afford to buy a new car because of the legal bills. I'm trying to move on but I am in perpetual limbo. STBXH is completely uncooperative. We don't speak except for texts about visitation. Even then 50% of our communication is arguments. I can't even get him to discuss our taxes or provide any receipts/statements that I can bring to our accountant. I feel like his divorce strategy is to delay and be completely uncooperative until I have no money or will left to fight him with. Is there anything I can do to move the divorce along when the spouse is uncooperative? Should I tell the judge that we can't reach settlement and I want to go to trial? Any advice or lessons learned would be most helpful.

shakentocore posted 3/7/2018 22:43 PM

Talk to your lawyer about what s/he can do to compel your STBX to finalize things. Tell your lawyer that you expect them to deny any request for a continuance by the opposing side AND you do not want him/her requesting one. Often if you have an objection to a continuance then even if it is granted it is their last time and they will be warned that time is up. If your offer was fair you should have no issues with letting the judge decide right away. YOU are the boss of the lawyer - remember that.