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Just bummed

Skenia18 posted 5/17/2018 22:18 PM

So BS is going to a wedding this weekend.
Initially I hadnít given it much thought really. But now thatís itís here, Iím a little bummed.

I know this is a consequence for my decisions. I donít deserve to share this moment/event with my BS. Iím just bummed is all.

Iím trying to stay positive. And keep myself busy. I work this weekend so thatíll help. And I plan on just working and playing with my hobbies to give myself some fun self esteem boosters.

I hope he has a great time and I get to hear all about it. But if he chooses not to tell me than I understand too.

Again, just bummed.

[This message edited by Skenia18 at 10:22 PM, May 17th (Thursday)]

gtflng posted 5/17/2018 22:32 PM

*why* are you bummed?

Skenia18 posted 5/17/2018 22:42 PM

It wouldíve been our first formal event together.
Together as a family going to a grown up even. I can be a sap so the wedding was just something fun and romantic for us to do together.

Krystlebefore posted 5/18/2018 02:06 AM

Totally understand why you would be bummed - no words of wisdom iím afraid - hugs

prissy4lyfe posted 5/18/2018 09:38 AM

I get it.
Good job on realizing and honoring your feelings.

What can you do for yourself that day? Honor your feelings and find a HEALTHY way to cope with them.


Is BH open to doing something as a family Sunday? Or can u make a plan for another day?

MickeyBill2016 posted 5/18/2018 10:10 AM

BS here, no stop sign so I wanted to share a thought.

As my marriage fell apart a longtime friend was getting married and we planned to go.
Since at the time my WW was living at her friends (not the OM) we decided that I would go alone.
It was very hard for me to keep my head in the moment of the happy wedding when I was in the midst of a separation. Listening to the vows of forever love and fidelity ripped out my heart and I left earlier than most.
So while your are bummed that you were disinvited(?) your BS will have a headful of conflicting thoughts and emotions. and will need to answer the where is Skenia, how is her pregnancy, aren't you excited about the baby questions.

So it may a toug day for both of you.

Skenia18 posted 5/18/2018 22:09 PM

I some some of my hobbies I can work on. Maybe take a nap and clean up the house a little.

Is there anything I can do to comfort him if he is feeling upset after or during the wedding?

xLoveLostx posted 5/18/2018 23:42 PM

I understand why your bummed .. it does hurt to be excluded even if it's a consequence of your own actions .. I struggled with this alot after my affair.. just be patient with him and be accepting of the consequence.. he will come around if he loves you ...just be supportive...I agree with Mickey above also

Skenia18 posted 5/19/2018 17:41 PM

Tough day guys. Tough day. Trying to stay positive but damn this is hurting.
I feel so alone and excluded.

Followtheriver posted 5/20/2018 10:43 AM

Skenia18,

How are you feeling today?

Skenia18 posted 5/21/2018 15:35 PM

I keep triggering because of the wedding, and I donít know why. I canít see pictures without bawling. I canít stop thinking about it whenever I try. I canít even hear about the royal wedding without starting to shake.

I spent all weekend crying. When I wasnít crying I was sleeping.

Even now, Iím not fully myself yet.

I felt like I didnít exist. Like my life was moving past me. I feel like Iím taking 100 steps back.

Iím trying so hard to shake it. Iím even giving myself moments to cry to just let it go.

But I canít.

LivingWithPain posted 5/21/2018 15:49 PM

All this drama for missing a wedding?

I would pay cash money to not to have to go to a wedding.

What you are experiencing is called consequences. Better yet, take the rejection you are feeling right now and multiply it times 10,000. Then you will have some inkling of the pain your BH is feeling.

[This message edited by LivingWithPain at 4:25 PM, May 21st (Monday)]

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