DD June 12, 2011
found out my wife had A with OM for almost 5 months. THE REASON IT STARTED WAS;... supposedly when I was arguing with her... I was too heavy... she was not sure she was still in love with me... she may have wanted a divorce but not sure... she was working at our business...heard just about every reason there was especially after we started talking about our issues with each other...
Found out she could have better self esteem if she allowed a man to compliment her and then go to motel with him, accept 100's of emails and poems, even get threatened when she would not meet with him, because he "loved her"..
When she took vacation I happened to look in Skype and find a message from her to him ending with "Love you", contacted her the next am and got 1/2 the truth. Confronted the OM and met with him at my business back room. ( I have some Biker "friends" that would do me any favor needed)...got the story. How many times they met, where, when, for how long, when he was not sure of the dates I asked if he paid with Credit card, he did, told him to check his statements and call me back...so now I have him on my VM telling me the dates, IDIOT...
Had to pay some bills online, had to have my wife's secret password,got a few more emails but the majority was on another hidden site that she stated she deleted after I found out.
We had 4 weeks of wife and myself talking on the internet, telephone, and Skype. Had some issues with phone supposedly being broken and I realize I could not imagine living without her. I found SI after 1st week and had read EVERY POST in the Recently Found Out for few weeks. Thought we were ready to start R....LOL....
So now she gets home, we talk nice, nice in the car because our boy in back seat. She and I talk like we haven't in years. She gives me reasons....all me..........NOT.
Give her emails of "having her cake and eating it too", Joe's letter, and some choice others. Let her know it was never my fault to make the decision to cheat on me, have had to say this very often.
She has agreed to MC, IC, poly, whatever, whenever. .. I still don't feel I can trust or forgive her. She cannot believe it can take months/years for me to get over. We will see...
READY FOR R, BUT NOT PUSHING OR RUSHING IT.
All above happened while I was at work at weekly meetings, they met at noon til 2(unprotected sex), I was at meeting from 12 to 4 those days . Found out they also had calls the night that I was out "pool night" every Wednesday night. With me she always "HAD TO" be in bed by 8 every night,but found out would talk with him for hours til after 10p at times.
Hate being here, but so glad for SI
We did reconcile, supposedly
DD#2- 7/15/2018 update, she's had another affair, with a guy she manages at her job. This was the person she disliked because he's fat, lazy, slept all night and rushed to do his job just before she arrived, turns out she got stoned for the 1st time ever, then was almost comatose on couch, he came down and offered water and asked for hug....1st time "because i was under influence, 2nd time she came downstairs and he was pretending to sleep on work sofa, he grabbed her....2nd time. Found out shortly after that when she was passed out drunk at home and I checked her messages, she was arranging to meet him on Saturday, but we had sex Friday and supposedly started her menses. Supposedly she told him it was over that day. Dozens of "work related" texts since in middle of the night....
She wiped her iphone clean so I cannot read the later texts, after it was supposedly over.
WTF!!!!
I got her sleeping in spare bedroom, we've had sex several times, but I cannot bring myself to trust her, how can I?