...anything I can do to make her see...
Here's the thing Razorbyrd... even in the question that you ask, there is a sense of manipulation, self-serving, and blame-shifting. I know this can be hard to see (I speak from tons of experience, unfortunately) but I'll try to explain.
First, you want TO MAKE her see. In other words, you want to control the outcome. That is about YOU, it is not about her. Your sentiment is not one of concern for her needs or what is best for her, it is about what you want and what is best for you. From her perspective, this is 100% the same as your thinking during the affair. It was about what you needed and wanted, and at her expense. I understand that your vision and emotions probably reason that being with you and saving the marriage are "good things", unlike the affair. But the motivation is the same. It is what YOU want. This is really important to understand. In order for her to even consider trusting you again to any degree (it will never be 100%) she needs to see that the guy who betrayed and lied to her has changed at his core. This statement alone shows that you have not.
Next, you are implying that her not seeing your viewpoint or wanting what you want is the problem. To her it will probably feel as if you are blaming her for the state your marriage is in. "If only she would see how I..." What she understands is that you cheated and lied and didn't give a damn about how much it hurt her, you just did what you wanted and wiped your feet on her afterward. She is not to blame for the distance between you and the damage done. That is 100% on you. Her not trusting you, or any negative feelings she has towards you, are the direct result of your actions. It is not her job to fix the marriage, she is the victim here. It is your job. If only YOU could see how much damage has been done and how alone, hurt and decimated she feels, it would go a lot farther towards your goal than trying to change her mind.
Finally, her trust in you will likely never change because of what you do or what you don't do. It will change based on who you are. She will believe you when you are someone who is believable. Think of it this way... first, I want you to imagine some people you would be likely to trust, such as maybe your doctor, a spiritual leader, your best friend, a relative. Now, think of some people you are likely to NOT trust, such as a prisoner in jail, a shady contractor, a politician, a guy in a dark alley. Why do you trust some people and not others? It is because of WHO they are inside, how they conduct themselves, especially when faced with obstacles and opportunities. You trust people because they have self respect and dignity in everything they do. You don't trust people who seem like they are only out for themselves and their next opportunity. All your wife sees right now is the latter. Sure, she sees the good in your too, and it is SUPER IMPORTANT to remember that! She DOES see the good in you, but it is buried under a very selfish and entitled attitude right now. She doesn't trust you because you are not trustworthy. Being trustworthy is not about what you do but who you are, so you need to worry about yourself first. Become a self-respecting, self-loving, honest and empathetic guy, and her trust in your will return faster than you may think it could, but that won't happen until you make the necessary changes.
Stop worrying about yourself. I'm not saying you are aren't important or worthy, I'm just saying that it is you that fucked up, and so any discomfort and pain you feel right now is due to your own choosing and actions. Your wife is hurting too, but NOT because of her own actions and choices, because of what is and has been thrust upon her. Just go be compassionate and loving and lose the agenda. Maybe you'll reconcile? Maybe you'll divorce? Whichever happens, she still loses because she got fucked over either way, and that's on you. So go be remorseful and really mean it.
My advice? If you aren't already, find a good IC and then go do some work on who you are and why you are the way you are right now. Work on your FOO, dig, figure out what you were really trying to do by having an affair, and then learn how to handle that problem in a healthy way. Were you looking to feel good about yourself, to feel special and loved and wanted and attractive and powerful? Find a way to make that happen that involves self-respect and the ability to make yourself feel special. When you do, it removes the need to have an affair, or to have anyone else fill holes in your soul.
I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh or attacking, it is not meant to be, not at all. I'm just trying to hit you up with some truth, speaking as someone who has walked in your shoes and struggled with the same topics. When you let go of all the shame and guilt and neediness, it will all become very clear and simple. Right now you are just too buried in fear to see past it.