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3greatkids (original poster member #69847) posted at 4:27 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019
How do you handle when they don’t want the kids on their visitation schedule? He either only wants one of the 3 or expects me to juggle and change weekends to accommodate his “busy” schedule sleeping with his boss..,
You can’t get blood from a turnip...or remorse from a narcissist.
A lifetime of betrayals, not “just” 5.
I know my worth.
Adaira ( member #62905) posted at 5:25 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019
“No” is a complete sentence.
Former BW. Happily divorced.
nomudnolotus ( member #59431) posted at 5:26 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019
Stick to the agreement. If the agreement says he takes all three you say "please stick to our custody agreement, you can have three or none"
If he wants to change weekends you say, "stick to the agreement, this is your allotted weekend, I will not be switching.
Document every single time he doesn't take the kids, with no emotion, keep a written calender.
"xhole did not take kids today"
Don't add anything, no emotions, no arguing, just simple.
Furious1 ( member #42970) posted at 12:28 PM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019
Keep a record of all communication between the two of you. Use an app such as Family Wizard (or whatever those communication/scheduling apps for divorced parents are). Keep all communication with him in written form so that there is a record for the courts if/when he tries to accuse you of not kissing his butt.
F1
BW (me): 46
2 adult kids
D-day: 10/4/13.
Divorced
shakentocore ( member #46124) posted at 9:05 PM on Thursday, May 16th, 2019
I definitely do not think it is in the best interest of the kids that he has only 1 of 3....how hurt the others would feel. And the “chosen one” may face backlash by the others, or be manipulated to “keep their spot” on the top of the pyramid.
As for switching....”We will stick to the agreement.” He can arrange business trips, vacations, boys night out around his family schedule.
It is not your job to jump through hoops and juggle your schedule to accommodate his demands. If he can’t meet you at pickup time, he forfeits. Keep records - If the final Schedule has not been signed, make sure it reflects the REAL time he has the kids, not the plan that he misses 1/2 the dates.
DDay - Christmas 2014. Working on R.
Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 1:25 AM on Friday, May 17th, 2019
If you do not have a formal visitation/custody schedule, then all of this advice here is pretty much moot. You (or he) cannot force someone to adhere to something when there is no "something." And I hope by now you know that a handshake agreement with him is worthless.
You need to file for divorce, file for a TRO and ask for a hearing to determine sole occupancy of the marital domicile, temporary support and visitation. Otherwise, you do not have the power of the law behind you to help you with any of this.
Cat
FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."
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