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BrittanyNicole11 (original poster member #70583) posted at 11:27 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019
So I think my H will not snap out of this unless I leave. He won’t leave me. He doesn’t want to lose the house or time with our kid. I told him that’s what’s going to happen though. He keeps going back and fourth wanting to work on things but he just can’t stop talking to his AP. I began talking to his family (we’re close) I was nervous because I know blood is thicker than water but they do not support this at all and even have told him they would never accept the woman into the family. They have known about it before I even talked to them but now it’s just an open topic.
So I discovered I can read texts from his watch( just be careful as it does an idle stand hour if it’s on during an hour you’re not wearing it.) so I’m at the point where I’m just enjoying sabotaging and making this difficult for them. I know it’s immature but oh well. She freaked on him about a picture I posted... I should just serve him with D papers but I can’t in my situation. I am saving money still and want to get through the holidays.
I’m OK! And know I’m gonna be ok. 2019 has sucked but 2020 is going to be great.
annb ( member #22386) posted at 12:13 PM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019
Good for you for moving forward with your life!
Understand your husband will continue to do what you allow.
I hope you are able to get out sooner than later, his actions must be torture for you. 
Neanderthal ( member #71141) posted at 12:36 PM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019
Yeah, 2019 can kiss my ass. I'm ready for 2020 too. Bring on a new decade!
cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 12:37 PM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019
I’m OK! And know I’m gonna be ok. 2019 has sucked but 2020 is going to be great.
Good! You are and you will be!
WTF is wrong with your CH?! He can't stop talking to the OW?! Fuck that shit!
180! Do an IHS, if you haven't already. Move yourself or him out of the marital bed. Pretend like he doesn't exist except for necessities like finances and child issues. If you make food, exclude him. If you do laundry, don't do his. Don't have pleasant conversation with him. If you have to, leave the room when he enters. Stop taunting the OW. Don't give her or them any more of your precious time and energy. DO NOT have sex with him!
He can do to you only what you allow.
Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life
CometGirl ( member #56179) posted at 1:04 PM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019
To save the marriage, you have to be willing to lose the marriage. Are you happy being in a marriage where your husband has a girlfriend? Let her have him. He’s a cheater. She’s a cheater. Make the decision for him. I know it’s hard when you have a young child to give up on her father. But, he gave up on you. He’s cake eating right now. If separating doesn’t wake him up, he’s not worth it. You are worth more! Your daughter is worth more! Start your new life now.
Also, tell the OBS. He deserves to know.
[This message edited by CometGirl at 7:10 AM, November 6th (Wednesday)]
BrittanyNicole11 (original poster member #70583) posted at 1:47 PM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019
Annb yea it is torture and I’m working really hard to make a move.
Neanderthal hell yea
Cocoplus5nuts I know right. He’s dumb. I’m educated and a great mom and wife and he wants to throw it all away for some bimbo. I am definitely doing the 180 hard . I know I shouldn’t taunt her and I don’t plan to do anything anymore. It only fuels the affair more.
Cometgirl I know. If I had the means I’d be serving him papers a long time ago. Absolutely a cake eater. I think the OBS knows but that’s next on my list to find out why he hasn’t left yet either (probably the same reason, their kids)
He’s leading her to believe I’m the psycho. Well I decided I’m gonna stop giving any Fs. I left the dishes he uses in the sink and leaving his clothes in the laundry basket. I’m going to be a calm and neutral roommate and if he notices, I’ll let him know if he wants the goods and nice things he expects from he he has to treat me like someone he cherishes.
ShatteredSakura ( member #70885) posted at 4:27 PM on Thursday, November 7th, 2019
He keeps going back and fourth wanting to work on things but he just can’t stop talking to his AP.
I totally get your feelings and don't feel too bad about feeling immature. They sometimes bring us down to their level IMO, but you're not the one hemming and hawing over another man.
My ex-WW was exactly this. Not physically seeing him for months but still texting him every single damn day and saying "I can't give him up!" was her "trying really hard".
At least you're close to his family. I wasn't with my WW's, her mother has been trying to push me out from the beginning. They actually have a really bad relationship between the two of them, so it wasn't like my WW was the type who does everything her mother tells her to (quite the opposite). But I know she seeds certain thoughts in my ex-WW's head...like that she was the one who sacrificed so much and I was so selfish and demanding. You know because I didn't want to do 100% of the chores, and not have my WW talking to her ex every day.
I too am looking forward to 2020.
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