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Online IC. Any thoughts? experiences?

SusanneH posted 11/13/2019 19:03 PM

My fWH's new IC is doing well, thank goodness, but I really need a different one. We can use her when we start MC, but not for this.

I am chronically ill, and have to drive at least 40 miles to another town to go anywhere. Heck, even if it was here, going anywhere once a week would wear me out. So, I want to see about seeing an online counselor. I hesitated until my sister told me about a friend of hers whose had a H who cheated on her, and she did IC online and it was wonderful, so I thought I'd give it a try.

Now, I need help to see if anyone has any opinions or, more than that, experience.

Any help would be appreciated! Thanks in advance.

BearlyBreathing posted 11/13/2019 21:36 PM

I used BetterHelp and loved it. I actually used 2 therapists— and the first was amazing. The second was fine. But it’s easy to change if you are not getting what you want/need.

I also used it two ways— one was 100% by email/app, all in writing. It worked for me as I am comfortable communicating that way. I loved being able to read and re-read our interactions, have time to think through my responses and thoughts on things, and send him my thoughts at any time. Looking back helped me see my progress and the areas I was a broken record and we could change direction accordingly. Being able to write and respond (it was not real-time) worked for me. I hated having to save all my thoughts up for one hour on Thursdays at 4pm, stressed from traffic and all that. And since I was not face to face, I was able to be 100% open and honest. That was helpful and healing. One should be that regardless, but this made it easy for me. I also think him having time to respond to me allowed him to be more thoughtful in his replies.

The second therapist preferred working by phone. He had great hours, so that wasn’t a problem. I liked being able to have a glass of wine and sit on my couch with my cat by my side and talk. I still preferred the in-writing, but there is something about speaking with someone that works.

Also, very affordable compared to in-person therapy. And no long term commitment. So try it out. If that person is not a perfect fit, switch. (You are able to specify things like age, gender, specialities, language).

Due to some new challenges in my life I am actually going to go back to BetterHelp for a short term to help me navigate some things.

Good luck!

[This message edited by BearlyBreathing at 9:39 PM, November 13th, 2019 (Wednesday)]

SusanneH posted 11/14/2019 09:39 AM

Thanks, Bearly.

I saw my H's IC yesterday with him, and the only problem I can see with online is that emotions don't 'show through'. For instance, when we were talking, the subject of our anniversary came up. It's a sad subject for me sometimes, and yesterday it was, but I didn't say anything. However, she SAW that I was troubled. That's something that wouldn't happen online. How does that work online? Just curious.

thanks again. I'll check out BetterHelp!

(((((HUGS)))) & peace

[This message edited by SusanneH at 9:40 AM, November 14th (Thursday)]

SusanneH posted 11/19/2019 12:28 PM

Just an update. I contacted BetterHelp, and it does look good, and much more affordable than the other online therapists. It also has good ratings. I've been matched with a counselor. The only thing I've NOT done is hit enter my cr crd to send it. I'm not so sure about paying for an entire month, when I may not like it after the first session. I read that you can cancel any time, but it didn't say you get a refund if you do. I think I'm just procrastinating because it's such an unknown....but, so much has been an 'unknown' to me before this year . I would rather be in the dark on this.

Well, i guess I'm on my way to do it .

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