FFF,
I was in your exact same position and felt the same way. How can my WW make such a mistake? We had the picture perfect family. I was a dotting father, a provider, she didn't have to clean, or cook. The fact is, its not YOU and what you did or didn't do. I spent months trying to figure that out, but the truth is, its all about her. What she didn't do to tell you how she felt. What she didn't do as an adult to sooth herself, fulfill her own happiness and to find peace with the great "GIFT" that she was given. The "gift" is the life she had, loving husband and great lifestyle.
Sometimes, the WW's convince themselves of what they thing they actually deserve, and how miserable they are. How unhappy there are! What about you? What about the kids? What about the family and friends? You see, it always turns back to them. Their issues, their selfish endeavors and their inability to see what they have right there before them. Happy kids? Great lifestyle? Loving Husband and home? These selfish WWs start wondering what else they're missing, how much happier they can be, all the while missing whats right in front of their eyes. Everything that they've ever wanted is what they currently have, yet they go searching for more.
You're absolutely right. Its so damn simple, but theyre not you or I. They're selfish, immature, and lack the emotional maturity to self sooth and the awareness of all that they lack. Your counseling session won't help your WW, she has to do it on her own. What I'm here to tell you is that I've been there. What you gave that women, and continue to give your children is something that 90% of what all women want out there. There are going to be hundreds of women who are going to want to take her place. A good hardworking provider, father to the kids and good husband. She had it all, now theres going to be a line of women coming in to replace her. And they will. Trust me.
You know your self worth, and know she knows hers. Every day you stay with her is going to remind you of this situation. Keep up with the 180, and don't backslide b/c its easy. Easy is the route she took. You need to take the hard and correct approach, like you always have, and move on this continued dishonesty WW of yours.