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EA 10 years ago, 2nd time, it's over

FinallyFreeFL posted 12/8/2019 18:26 PM

It was 2010 the last time I was here. Back then, me now soon-to-be ex had a 10 month long affair online, with 2 IRL meetings. I took him back, we did therapy, moved half way across the country, and I tried to move on.

On November first, he shut the bedroom door and said "I don't want to start a fight but I'm moving out." He left, I cried, it was horrible.

Then I found the other woman's hair in my sheets. She stayed with us (and her mother too) for 3 weeks when she was evicted.

I filed for divorce 2 days later.

He has not once asked about our disabled child and refuses to pay any bills or child support. I am past wanting him back, but still have those days, those moments, where I just want to cry at losing my partner of nearly 20 years to a girl who is 23. He's 48.

The days are getting easier. I cry less. I wake up crying less. I started jogging. I've lost 24 pounds (mostly that initial shock-can't-eat but still!). I have enrolled in college again. All the bills are now in my name. Our disabled son is happy with me and sees his father every Sunday during the day. I smile and am cival in emails and at exchanged for our son.

He is snarky and demanding, refuses to pay support and refuses to pay any bills. I am waiting for court, as once the judge rules, he will only have 30 days to pay support from the date of seperation. Or he goes to jail.

Karma will come for him.

In the meantime, our son is cared for and safe with me, even though I am working fulltime and haven't slept more than 5 hours since this happened. Money is tight, but we're making it.

And I found this place again. Thank you for being here, and for having this space. You helped me through the darkest of times 10 years ago, and while I think we will be ok on our own, it sure is nice to have a friendly ear who can actually relate. And hopefully, I can be that ear to others someday soon.

nofun posted 12/8/2019 19:07 PM

I was here back in 2009. Iím back. H went back to the OW but he wonít leave the house. We just retired. Ughhh.

BearlyBreathing posted 12/8/2019 20:21 PM

Weíre here. Keep posting. You are doing great. And Iím sorry he never grew the fuck up.

CallingSpades posted 12/8/2019 23:12 PM

FinallyFree, can you get an emergency support order? I have one and it's a lifesaver. Got it without even filing for D, and it was effective on the date of separation. You might be owed support in arrears.

You are awesome and so brave! Best luck to you going forward.

Lalagirl posted 12/9/2019 11:52 AM


It takes a special kind of scumbag to not pay support for his child. I hope his dick falls off.

Bleu posted 12/9/2019 20:54 PM

I hope his dick falls off.

Best laugh of the day. Me, too.

nekonamida posted 12/10/2019 16:41 PM

It takes a special kind of scumbag to not pay support for his child. I hope his dick falls off.

Me too.

Don't worry about OW. She's clearly young and dumb enough to make all of the mistakes having kids he won't support and putting up with his cheating. She's going to find out real soon what kind of prize she's won.

rebplay posted 12/10/2019 18:43 PM

Karma will come around. The odds of the 23 year old and 48 year old having a lasting relationship built on lies, just donít see it. Real life will set in and things wonít stay too carefree for them Iím willing to bet. What an ass. Iím so sorry.

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