SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Divorce/Separation

demolishedinside posted 12/9/2019 18:41 PM

Last weekend, for the millionth time, I've heard, "Well, it takes two." And damn it. No. No it doesn't. I didn't make him have sex with other people. And I'm so tired of hearing this that I am still fired up. No. JUST NO. I may have loved comfortable, boring married life. Apparently, he didn't. But certainly someone does. Someone will. I will never understand. Not ever.

On a positive note, I could tell the OB today that no, I have not been sexually active so I could not have an STD. I was actually shocked when I said it... I'm so used to being married. I'm so used to saying that I have sex. Yeah. I mean, I guess it for sure handles the STD aspect...

Bleu posted 12/9/2019 19:47 PM

How awful! I detest hearing those types of sentiments.

Overcomer1 posted 12/9/2019 20:26 PM

Oh, I so agree with this! My mother-in-law told me this same matter of fact statement “it takes two,” and I said I may have done some things wrong but he chose to not deal with things and go off and have an affair. That’s not my fault! I will not take the blame for his selfish, narcissist ways. He chose to be unfaithful, not me. People who say things like that have never experienced infidelity in their own marriage. They simply can’t understand.

demolishedinside posted 12/9/2019 21:15 PM

You know what I’m saying next time? “Yes. It does take two. Him and the @$$@! He stuck his $&&@ in”. Think they will be upset?🤣

Maudlin posted 12/10/2019 03:28 AM

I’m really blunt and DO say cheating ended our marriage, him sticking his dick into any and everything doesn’t solve any problems it just means we get divorced so...how exactly is that MY responsibility?

I have a feeling the in laws are saying things like that, but I’ll never see them again so I don’t care. But a mutual friend (not sure he will be my friend going forward) trotted out that bullshit and I let him have it with both barrels. I mean, argue with me then- we are getting divorced because he cheated, not for any other reason. The two that took were LLCAH and the multiple women, not me.

I don’t think he will be my friend because I found a message from him to LLCAH consoling him and saying he saw I was “ugly on Facebook”. I posted about learning a language, and someone asked if “we” were moving there and I said no, I left his nasty ass and was moving alone. 😂 So that is “ugly”, but him cheating with prostitutes for god only knows how long is just peachy? Or sure it’s bad, but I must be polite in public?

Seriously people are just ridiculous.

To quote my fave Thoreau, “If I repent of anything, it is very likely to be my good behavior. What demon possessed me that I behaved so well?”

crazyblindsided posted 12/10/2019 12:23 PM

Ugh I hate these kind of statements. My STBX loves them. Anything he can say to pin blame on me he will. He will admit to his wrongdoings but has to blame me in the process. Including withdrawing from the M a year ago because I told him I felt like I was staying for the kids and that he was not putting the work in. He read that as he should give up... just like every other time he felt disappointed in me for something. All his A's he blamed on me for not having weird over the top sex with him for 7 days out of the week.