So I'm posting this from a t/j I made yesterday.
Saw long-time IC for my annual pre-holiday tune-up and he suggested some ideas for dealing with those family members/people in your life who get under your skin. They are not going to change, so let's use their predictability for our advantage. I'm a big believer in taking away the sting of things by finding the humor, so this game is perfect.
Disclaimer: he did not invent this idea, but boy did we sure perfect it in hysterical ways for me.
Get an index card or something else that will fit in your pocket. Make a column for each of the likely offending folk and list out those behaviors in each row. (If you have more than one celebration - make cards for each! Or just one offending person - give them the whole card on their own.) Then - see if you can get a row or two. Or the ultimate goal of a coverall! (I'm making bets I get a coverall in rapid fashion
)
Here's a few of mine:
1. Appearance of the martyr - includes some reference of "all I do," "how much work all of ____ was." Bonus square: refusing to let you pick up any of the heavy load or to help.
2. Goes hand in hand with - "let me do that, you're not doing it right."
3. Blatant or thinly-veiled sibling comparison.
4. Repeating "how wonderful it is we are all together" when they have intentionally excluded someone from the celebration.
So instead of letting these things get you twitchy - you can exclaim in your head "Ooh ooh I got that one." Secretly whip out your card and fill the square. If people look at you and wonder why you're giggling hysterically respond with "I'm just goofy." Or, "I'm completely overcome with the holiday spirit."
Half the fun is making out the card and preparing yourself for what you know will probably come to pass. Some of my squares in the past would have been things like: "When are you going to have children?" "How is your Ex doing these days?" "Any stereotypical comment about a group of *them* or *theys*."
If you have an ally in the situation, it could be great fun to see who can win.
Anyone willing to share what might be on their own cards?