You said:
He went to one therapy session. It always comes down to me ‘forgiving and focusing on the future.
He went to _one_ therapy session? And then you're supposed to "forgive and focus on the future"?
Sounds as if he puts forth zero effort in introspection, in figuring out his "why"s, and then you're just supposed to rugsweep his behavior. Remember rugsweeping, and that things swept under the rug fester and grow and come out later all trenchant claws and sharp fangs?
Well, that festering, growing monstrosity has reared up its head and that is the source of your anger. IMHO.
As for the dog, well, dogs are pets and family is human and human is greater than pet for all values of pet and human, so out the pet goes _if_ you decide to stay. Which, personally, I'd not, what with the lack of introspection and rugsweeping demands. With those in place nothing is going to change. dm said from experience.
no answers for me except that he loves me, it was all superficial attention and that when things are hard that’s what he would do
Love is an action. Watch the difference between words and actions. He _says_, "I love you," but he acts "that when things are hard that’s what he would do."
As a thought experiment, imagine you were the WS and he was the BS. Would _he_ accept such drivel from _you_, were he the BS? I doubt it. He'd probably get mad, just like you understandably have.
What's keeping you angry and unreasonable is, again IMHO, that you've put yourself between a rock and a hard place. You are enduring treatment that, from a stranger or first-date guy, would send you running. Yet, for some reason, you're not running. You're living with it. Living with being treated unconscionably leads to frustration and anger.
Personally, I'd tell his precious, unknowing, and interfering "family" exactly how he was acting, how he expected you to sit back and take it like a silent martyr, and then tell them to go do something physically impossible to themselves with their opinions. But, I'm a bit saucy like that these post-infidelity days.
Good luck to you, ma'am.
edited to add: Correct "love is an action" behavior would be for him to concentrate on asking himself "why" to every single reason he comes up with, like this:
Him: Well, when things go hard I want attention from a strange female.
Again, Him: Why
Him: Well, that's just how I am.
Again, Him: Why
Him: I guess I'm just a jerk (that old excuse that does nothing)
Again, Him: Why
Him: I get approval from being desired by / desirable to others.
Again, Him: Better answer. Why is that?
Him: It props up my self-esteem.
Again, Him: Why does it need outside propping up?
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[This message edited by devotedman at 1:07 PM, December 25th, 2019 (Wednesday)]