This is my second Christmas alone. I have grown children They live far away. Thus divorce has broken our family. Everyone is sad and uncomfortable. They are building new lives. That makes me feel even more lonely.
I have told several people that I will be totally alone. They were all shocked. They have never known anyone to be alone on Christmas. Great. I felt worse.
I purposely decided to be alone this year. I’m tired of trying. And still not succeeding. It’s been 1.5 years since Xwh discarded me. The pain has lessened. I am stuck.
I’m working on my house. Staying busy with small projects. It’s hard to be enthusiastic It’s hard to be normal. I can not force it or rush it. I accept that. I’m healing. xwh was Npd This takes awhile. It was years of emotional abuse.
I don’t know my future. I do know it’s best to heal first. Time heals much. I have not dated. Haven’t met any men. I notice how strange it is to live around so many people in a big city. And I’m invisible.
It’s going to be better. There is no way but up. I will be ready
I’m doing the work. I’m reading the books recommended I’m findlly sleeping
[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 7:18 AM, December 24th (Tuesday)]