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demolishedinside (original poster member #47839) posted at 11:09 PM on Monday, December 30th, 2019
I wish it hurt less. I wish I full on hated him. But I don’t. (When does it stop hurting exactly?).
He’s moving out in February. Agreed on everything. Will head to the lawyer for dissolution soon.
I seriously can’t imagine dating ever. Trusting. Feeling secure.
I’m exhausted.
BS - me/3 kids
DD - April 2015 / SA-Jan. 28, 2017
DD2- October 23, 2018
Divorced and happy
Chili ( member #35503) posted at 11:36 PM on Monday, December 30th, 2019
Ugh DI. That exhaustion thing is brutal. Like down to your toes, no?
Feeling secure.
I think this is the first thing that will start to enter your life once you get past the craziness. When you feel safe, secure, get a little peace - other things will start to fall into place. For me that horrible hurt started to fade as well.
What nice things are you doing for yourself this week?
2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 12:10 AM on Tuesday, December 31st, 2019
(((demolishedinside))) I know what you mean. One minute I can't wait to move the next I am grieving what could have been again.
I plan on moving out by March and am totally exhausted and have no desire to date, marry or cohabitate and take care of another adult (besides my aging parents) again!
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
HalfTime2017 ( member #64366) posted at 12:51 AM on Tuesday, December 31st, 2019
Once he moves out you'll start feeling a lot better. IHS sucks. It will get better for you around March/April. Once they are gone, and you go NC, the healing process starts to pick up.
skeetermooch ( member #72169) posted at 1:43 AM on Tuesday, December 31st, 2019
Sorry, DI. I'm right there with you. Trauma bonds are a bitch.
I'm having a shitty night too - I just want this pain over with. I can't imagine wanting anyone besides my STBX - even though I know he equals hurt.
It's gotta get better - I see those folks on the other side waving us over.
Me: BS 56 on DDay 1 - 7/2019 DIVORCED - 1/2021
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