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Forward but...damn

demolishedinside posted 12/30/2019 17:09 PM

I wish it hurt less. I wish I full on hated him. But I donít. (When does it stop hurting exactly?).

Heís moving out in February. Agreed on everything. Will head to the lawyer for dissolution soon.

I seriously canít imagine dating ever. Trusting. Feeling secure.

Iím exhausted.

Chili posted 12/30/2019 17:36 PM

Ugh DI. That exhaustion thing is brutal. Like down to your toes, no?

Feeling secure.

I think this is the first thing that will start to enter your life once you get past the craziness. When you feel safe, secure, get a little peace - other things will start to fall into place. For me that horrible hurt started to fade as well.

What nice things are you doing for yourself this week?

crazyblindsided posted 12/30/2019 18:10 PM

(((demolishedinside))) I know what you mean. One minute I can't wait to move the next I am grieving what could have been again.

I plan on moving out by March and am totally exhausted and have no desire to date, marry or cohabitate and take care of another adult (besides my aging parents) again!

HalfTime2017 posted 12/30/2019 18:51 PM

Once he moves out you'll start feeling a lot better. IHS sucks. It will get better for you around March/April. Once they are gone, and you go NC, the healing process starts to pick up.

skeetermooch posted 12/30/2019 19:43 PM

Sorry, DI. I'm right there with you. Trauma bonds are a bitch.

I'm having a shitty night too - I just want this pain over with. I can't imagine wanting anyone besides my STBX - even though I know he equals hurt.

It's gotta get better - I see those folks on the other side waving us over.

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