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believehalf (original poster member #49925) posted at 11:18 PM on Sunday, January 12th, 2020
My circle is getting smaller. Someone I haven’t heard from in some time reached out via text. She married into my WH family, she’s actually my SIL but they don’t talk much to the rest of the family. We went back and forth for a few days with catch up on our kids, me trying to be polite and genuinely interested in how my kids cousins were doing she began trying to arrange for a couples family get together, then she reached out to my mom who had been very involved with my WH family.
She was over sharing with me about some things in the family and I decided to come clean. I told her me and WH are not quite estranged but strained due to his seeking out partners on dating sights. (There’s no couples get together I’m interested in). She was at first all OMG OMG. By the next day...
I know your WH is out of work, maybe give him a break.
ohsospecial ( member #72054) posted at 11:29 PM on Sunday, January 12th, 2020
It sounds like she already knew about the situation, and was over sharing in hopes that you would then confirm what she heard. Maybe someone else in WH family encouraged her to be a bridge-builder?
But, giving him a break?!? LOL.
https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=642616
cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 2:17 AM on Monday, January 13th, 2020
Sounds to me, too, like she already knew and was fishing for more from you.
Give his cheating ass a break?! 
Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life
OwningItNow ( member #52288) posted at 4:03 AM on Monday, January 13th, 2020
1. Someone got to her and "shared" the supposed other side of the story.
2. Or this is her way of stupidly playing middle of the road, can't-we-all-just-get-along.
Either way, really dumb thing to say. I hope she regretted it later on, like, "Did I actually say that? That's not what I meant." Stupid comment.
me: BS/WS h: WS/BS
Reject the rejector. Do not reject yourself.
Adlham ( member #53358) posted at 5:19 AM on Monday, January 13th, 2020
I'm snarky enough that I would have looked at that person With wide-eyed innocence and said, wow, what a great idea!
Which bone do you suggest I break?
Ugh. I agree that it sounds like she knew something was up, at the VERY least, and wanted gossip.
What a ridiculous statement to try and justify someone else's bad behavior.
There is NO need to have that “one last conversation” with a toxic individual in your life.” The closure will come when you look deeper inside yourself. It’s not your job to fix someone when they are unwilling to fix themselves.
believehalf (original poster member #49925) posted at 12:28 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2020
Thank you for all your comments. I had not considered that she was simply digging, thank you for the insight !! We were still going back and forth, always finding a way to discuss her (family) money. I called her out on the give him a break comment and just ended things on my end. I don’t need certain people in my life and that’s okay.
pink carnation ( member #34310) posted at 6:22 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2020
People who dispense this type of advise have NO FRAME of reference for the personal wreckage you feel. I am sorry you had to endure such.
Big support from me.
2010 was Ddays galore and my INDEPENDENCE! Happily remarried to someone else!
Someone who cannot clearly choose you, is not worth you time or your tears.
Don't pass up on the chance on a do over, when it is handed to you on a silver
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