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Poly questions after a known A

WaryOptimist posted 4/24/2020 17:19 PM

After all these years I still doubt and am suspicious of several situations in the past. I know, it's no way to live.

He had a 9-14 month EA/PA, but I feel there's more before and possibly since.

What would you suggest as questions to ask during a polygraph? I think that's the only way I could put my mind to rest.

Paraphrasing from advice on another thread, I have these two:
Have you ever had sexual relations with anyone in addition to OW outside our M?
Have you ever confessed love for another in addition to OW since we have been M?

Your input would be so appreciated.

nekonamida posted 4/24/2020 17:53 PM

Have you been honest about your account of the A with OW to WaryOptimist?

Something like that is a question frequently asked around here. It's a good catchall for the A you know about.

The examiner will be able to reword any question and include clarification to prevent false positives/negatives. For instance, your WH could honestly answer "no" and pass to a question about sex if he only believes sex counts as penetration and not oral so an experienced examiner will clarify with him ahead of time that it includes ALL sexual activity, penetration, oral, fingering, heavy petting, etc. I think your questions are good already though and will sufficiently put those issues to rest pass or fail.

Marie2792 posted 4/24/2020 18:33 PM

The examiner I hired was excellent and helped me with the questions. Aside from what I knew, I asked were there any other OW in our marriage. I asked about email addresses and apps I didnít know about. I asked him if OW had tried to contact him after dday, and I asked about a very specific time in our marriage I suspected cheating.

I had four questions I was allowed and they all have to be yes or no. If you google also you may get some ideas to help with your specific needs. Good luck.

Flnightmare posted 4/24/2020 19:17 PM

I have also heard that you can create a disclosure questionnaire that has all the specific questions you want answered.

Then one of the lie detector questions is ... were you truthful on every question on the questionnaire?

WaryOptimist posted 4/24/2020 20:36 PM

Wow, thanks to all three of you for writing. Such great information to think on.

I love the questionnaire idea; it's like wishing for 3 more wishes on your original third wish.

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