Decadewasted posted 7/9/2020 12:02 PM

I just consulted with an attorney and I'm screwed. We would have to file to have our 10 year cohabitation recognized as a marriage in order for me to receive alimony. I dont think he'd do that just so that I could run him through the ringer. Then go through divorce proceedings. My only reprieve is to file a small claims case to pay accumulated debt.

Muggle posted 7/9/2020 12:31 PM

I don't know what state you're in or the laws there.

I was in a 23 year unmarried relationship, with 3 kids together, a house and a business. When he had is affairs, followed by a surprise marriage I got an attorney.

The first attorney I spoke to told me I was entitled to NOTHING, to take what he was offering and walk away. She didn't know diddly squat in reality. I cried myself all the way home.

The second attorney I had a consultation with, said I was most certainly entitled to almost equal rights as a spouse. The exception was no alimony, no pension and I had to pay my own attorney fees. I live in WA state.

I hired the second attorney. If you lived together continuously as a couple, paid bills together, acted in public as a couple and owned things together then most likely you are considered a committed intimate relationship. Check with a second attorney.

If I had listened to the first attorney I'd have been screwed. I ended up with our paid off house, a 6 figure settlement from the business he started while we were together. I got child support, college support for our nearly adult kids, medical, dental, car insurance, cell phones for the 3.5 years it will take to pay me off. He pays me a small salaried paycheck for the minimal hours I was working for the business, but I don't have to work. He also was required to pay off all our existing debts.

It personally cost me $25k (my mom's inheritance) for our divorce as it was highly contested, and extremely hostile. He wasn't forthcoming with financials and things he and his wife were spending out of our joint assets. He then sued me in Federal court for millions and lost. That cost me my savings, but in the end the law and courts decided what was fair and equitable for a distribution of assets.

Never hurts to get several consultations to know where you stand legally.

[This message edited by Muggle at 12:31 PM, July 9th (Thursday)]

KonaGal posted 7/9/2020 12:51 PM

Look up committed intimate relationship rights in your state. AFAIK, you would not be entitled to maintenance or government benefits such as social security, but there should be a just division of assets/debts and possibly retirement accounts. While my situation is different as we were married, my attorney thought his retirement account that was begun while we were cohabitating was fair game for division starting at that date and not start of marriage. Not sure if that’ll hold tru though.

Decadewasted posted 7/9/2020 14:08 PM

He has nothing! No assets, no retirement, not even a bank account. He is, as I write this, filing for bankruptcy. He makes decent money and I have been a stay at home mom for 7 of the 10 years. I am currently not working and cant afford an attorney. We dont own a home . Actually he could probably say I had income because I owned a business from 2014-2019. It was really his business it was just in my name to avoid the irs putting a lien against the business because he owes back taxes. Boy I picked a winner.