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A little overwhelmed

bewuzzled posted 9/16/2020 03:28 AM

If you know my story from wayward, you know H and I are seperated, have been since mid March, but it was in house until August 12. Now he has an apartment with a seven month lease and I've decided to sell the family home and move to a smaller maintenance provided townhomes. I made an offer today on one, and tonight as I'm cleaning the house for its listing on Thursday, I feel pretty overwhelmed. I've never bought a house by myself. I've never had to figure everything out about listing a house by myself. Combined with the emotional side of cleaning out and packing up a home we built together... It's a little much. Not to mention that Dday for his wayward-Ness was 9/8 and we have a DD21 that can't seem to get it together and do the right things. I have been doing so well with my detachment from H, my resolve to be strong and move on, take care of me and this house business. But then I am in his presence and everything goes to crap. The emotion demands to come out and I'm not good at hiding that yet. I see him,smell him,and I still want him to love me and come home. How do I keep in my head the reason this is all happening? I want to remember and feel THAT when he's around. Not all the good stuff. Not the loneliness and heartache.
This is hard. I know I'm doing the right things, but it's really hard.

barcher144 posted 9/16/2020 07:22 AM

Go easy on yourself.

It's not easy and it is not supposed to be easy.

You can do it and we are all here to support you.

You just have to keep going. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.

It gets better, I promise. One of these days, you will have a life free of all of the torment that is infidelity. And. it. is. so. much. better.

Catwoman posted 9/16/2020 14:16 PM

I'm a little concerned about selling the marital home, unless you have a legal agreement in place.

Do you have the legalities sorted and filed with the court? If not this could be something that comes back to bite you.


PS: My ex decided to try and get me to sell the marital home (and split the asset with him) by not paying any sort of support and stalling with temp orders. Needless to say, he not only got smacked in court, but I ended up with the house and he had to sign a quit-claim deed to give me the asset. Had I sold the house under his desired scenario, I wouldn't have fared as well as I did.

bewuzzled posted 9/16/2020 20:08 PM

I'm a little concerned about selling the marital home, unless you have a legal agreement in place.

We have an agreement, not legally filed. But he has signed all the sellers paperwork and will sign at the title company that what I'm buying is not marital property. I've agreed not to take retirement account / pension in return. I have consulted a lawyer and our agreement is reasonable. Slighted towards me in the here and now, to get a new start.

You can do it and we are all here to support you.

Thank you, you guys are my lifelines. I dunno where I'd be without you.

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