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Angry again...

betrayed 35 posted 1/4/2021 08:36 AM

I had been doing so much better... I was content with things and I am not sure what happened but I am so angry again. I know itís a roller coaster of emotions and all that but I was feeling good. I am not sure if it was the holidays or what but I wake up and am just mad. Just wondering if anyone else has this going on. I canít think of anything that happened or anything that changed... Well besides his poor parenting choices but I am used to that by now
I am just having this feeling of a bad year coming...

BearlyBreathing posted 1/4/2021 11:30 AM

Some days are just that way. Sometimes triggers are hard to findó itís just a bad day.
And it does not foretell a bad year. Take a little extra care of yourself, use your tools (self affirmation, exercise, call a friend, etc.) and accept that you are still processing some of this shit.

I remember telling my therapist I was unhappy when I had a really bad sadness relapse when my pet died. I thought I should be able to handle it better, that I wanted to be that shiny unicorn that emerges and gallops off leaving my WH behind. He reminded me that the trauma takes time to fully process - -sometimes it just bubbles up. But as long as I move through it faster, then I am still healing. And maybe I wonít be the unicorn that gets over him in record time, but who I am becoming is still to be determined, and may just be more amazing.

(((Hugs))).

crazyblindsided posted 1/4/2021 11:39 AM

I too am struggling with feeling angry at STBX. I donít know if it was the holidays but Iím there too. I am angry that I have to split my time with the kids with this man. I despise him and I donít have any good thoughts about him. While I am happy to be away from him Iím angry at all the trauma he caused me. The fact that he already knew I had childhood trauma and the went ahead and caused me more trauma and is trying to place the blame on me. Yeah Iím mad.

betrayed 35 posted 1/4/2021 11:53 AM

Crazyblindsided

I feel exactly the same. He is the one who has caused all this pain and I am the one alone. He gets to play house with the OW and my kids have no choice.

It helps to know others feel the same hatred and anger...

betrayed 35 posted 1/4/2021 12:56 PM

Barelybreathing

Soo true. We will become even more amazing for all that we are going through.
I agree. Sometimes I have lost focus and I need to refocus and get back on track. Thanks!

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