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Hello Again; It's Me

foolishlycluless posted 1/12/2021 19:46 PM

Hey folks,

Well life has happened to me, and so it looks like my last post was almost five years ago! Everything just got to me. My marriage was in a stalemate, and WH wasn't taking any steps, like IC, that I thought would help. So I just stopped using SI. We were separated in-house, and I was waiting for his next move. And, nothing.

We co-existed as roommates for a while - years in fact. No one else really knew what was going on. I knew it was going to end, but I didn't know how to pull the plug.

And then, I had the inspiration. My friend found out her WH was hiring "escorts" when she was out of town. And she kicked him to the curb. And I thought, "If she can do it, I can do it." Mind you I had been married over 30 years, and it was a difficult step. But actually seeing someone else who did it gave me the encouragement.

I just didn't know how or when to do it. And then it happened. One evening we were passing one another going towards separate rooms, and I saw his cell phone illuminated in his pocket. He had been on the phone with OW. And I said, "give me your phone." He refused. So I just said, "I'm done."

That was January 2019. We continued as roommates during the divorce process. He bought out my interest in the house and I had a new house built, close to my elderly parents. I finally moved in October 2019, and our divorce was final at the end of the year.

I have wonderful neighbors. I still telework, but I'm already in the place where I will ultimately retire, when I'm ready.

After a very long period of time, I'm finally having twinges, "below the waist" shall we say. I don't know how to deal with that, so I thought what better way than become active again with the people in SI who helped me through the most difficult time in my life.

This will be a challenge too. I want companionship. But it's very complicated these days. And TRUST is probably my biggest issue.

Well that's all for now. I will check in from time to time. I expect that ultimately I will move to the New Beginnings page.

Thanks again for helping me navigate a very difficult time.


somanyyears posted 1/13/2021 09:01 AM

..5 years... MIA? It is high time to stop putting your life on "hold".

New Beginnings thread has a wonderfully 'positive' connotation to it. You sound ready to embark on your very own. Damn the torpedoes! Full steam ahead.

I've been here a while and probably read your posts way back in 2015... Don't wait another 5 years to put your plan into place!


BearlyBreathing posted 1/13/2021 19:28 PM

FC— glad you are putting YOU first. Congratulations on getting out of infidelity and starting what sounds like a good life.
Hope you’ll stick around— do check out the New Beginnings page!

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