SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

#6

yesterday

just saw a post that reminded me about ddays and i remembered, otherwise i'm not sure when it would have occured to me...

now that i've remembered, i remember it vividly

mar 18, 2004, 11:34 pm on the dot my phone rang and that was dday

interesting thing about it though, before anyone starts thinking omfg, SIX YEARS and she remembers it VIVIDLY (and i'm not kidding, i remember the smell in the house from what i made for dinner, i remember exactly where i was sitting on the couch, i remember glancing at the clock as the phone rang, i remember what jammies i was wearing and the book i had in my hand and that the tv was on low in the back ground but i wasn't watching it and that the dog was barking outside just as i answered the phone...vivid, absolutely frozen in time and in my memory)

it never occured to me at all last month that omg, dday month is coming up, it never occured to me last week, uh oh... dday is coming up, it never occured to me in the morning yesterday when i woke up that uh oh, this is dday anniversary, it never occured to me at all, and god knows when it would have occured to me unless i had read something to bring it to mind....

so yes, i can remember it all very vividly

but there is no hurt, or regret, or sadness, or anything associated with remembering it all, even in tiny little detail...

frankly i get more anxiety remembering my trip to the grocery store wondering what i forgot while i was there

i'm just sitting here smiling going oh ya, thats right.. huh

so, i won't be telling anyone they'll ever FORGET their dday details, but, i can tell people that you will forget it's coming up, forget it's arrived, unless something reminds you, and that even when you are reminded, it won't be a hurtful thing

Thanks drowninginsorrow.

We had d-day #2 anny last week and I was thinking about it, worried it would trigger LD bad. He didn't remember until a few days later and he was unphased.

It gets better!!!

Thanks DS - Not quite there yet, I remembered the day, but was in Italy, and on that day fighting off (literally) an Italian colleague who was hitting on me. So have got other memories for that day now - not good either!!

(And i always leave the grocery store with several bags full minus the one thing I actually went in for).

it didn't take me until #6 to not have a problem either

this is the first time i've considered using it as an excuse to celebrate *something*, *anything* for the sake of going to dairy queen though... is that twisted? but all the good celebrations are over for a while... so i am grasping and i've been dying for a blizzard all damn night

[This message edited by drowninginsorrow at 9:39 PM, March 19th (Friday)]

There's nothing wrong with living by the 'if all else fails, eat ice cream' rule.

my 1st dday anniversary is coming up soon and I've had a terrible time...please tell me it gets better after that first one passes? I feel like I have 3 different days to deal with floating around in my head....the day they actually had sex which is in April, the day i discovered there was an OW which was in May and the day he came clean in June and admitted they had sex. Does that mean those 3 months will be absolutely horrible this first year? I've been doing so good in R, until this week and the thoughts have hit me like a ton of bricks.

Thank you for the encouragement that time does heal us.

Kudos to you and your spouse ((drowninginsorrow))

DS,

Ice cream sounds great!

Your encouraging post is what I needed tonight.

Okay, now you've got me wanting a blizzard too.

dis...

Wonderful post.

You mods. give us all inspiration. It's so great to have you's to help and share your stories with us. There's always hope no matter what. From the bottom of my heart, Thank-you.

[This message edited by CookiesAZ at 11:19 PM, March 19th (Friday)]

Beautiful. So glad you can say this and mean it with your whole heart.

that's wonderful drowninginsorrow

i cant wait for me and I_Was_That_Guy to not feel pain or sadness on both our antiversaries

i know it will take much time, but this post gives us so much hope!

Thanks! With antiversary #1 coming on April 13 I really needed to hear this.

Gives me hope............

Just what I wanted to hear

Im 4 yrs out and after the 2nd yr, I totally forgot the dday, I remember the date and time like DS, but the 3rd year I remember saying,, ohh it was last month??? so its was not an issue anymore...

Vivid...yeah , I can taste and smell the blood running down my nose 1 week before giving birth...because of high blood pressure due to stress, I had the worst nose bleed ever...

This is exactly what I needed today. First antiversary coming up on April 11th and it has been horrible the last week. From everything I have read here on SI this is quite normal. But I keep thinking - this will get better, this will get better. This last year has been one hell of a ride - with both ups and downs but as long as I know there is an end to the pain I know I can cope.

Thanks for the encouragement. Can't wait for the day it doesn't hit so hard!

Any excuse for a trip to Dairy Queen is okay by me!

I am certain your post will inspire many...to get through infidelity and to jump in the car for a blizzard!