SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I have come to this site for support,yet ever since i signed into this site i havent been able to stop crying.

i just dont understand. i dont think i will ever understand. i just dont know why the one man that i gave my heart and soul to has decided to use my heart as his door mat for his metal cleats. i just look at the kids and think about what i thought my life was going to be with him and now that is all messed up and it just makes me start crying. will my tears run out? will i ever stop crying?

((((world))))

I feel your pain. I was there. It will get better, it will.

If you haven't gotten to read the healing library yet, this is an excellent source of articles.

i just wonder why? i mean was i such a bad person in my past life that i deserve this kind of life. i made my husband my world and he cheated on me for our entire marriage and a son that is going to die way too early. why?

world- your WH choices have nothing to do with you. His actions are because he wanted to do them.

Making your husband your world, yeah I get you. I did that as well. I felt that is was a sign of my love to do all and be all. I sacrificed who I was to keep everything happy for him.

Sweetie what is the matter with your son?

I'm very new here myself. It would be great if this was an empty site.

But it's not.

You are not alone.

You are not the only one to go through this.

That's what I keep telling myself. I hope it helps you, as much as it helps me.

I'm sorry to hear about your child......... please keep posting.....

I am so sorry about your husband and especially about your son - huge ((HUGS)) to you - you didn't do anything wrong to deserve this.

(((WC)))

the tears will slow and eventually stop. right now its fresh in every way. just cry. its OK

my son the #1 genetic killer of young children. Its called spinal muscular atrophy. they told us that he wouldnt live to see the age of 2. He is now 2 1/2 years old and still fighting this cruel disease. He can't eat or drink he has a feeding tube to do that for him, he has to sleep with a bi pap machince so that he wont stop breathing at night. he cant cough so we have a machine that helps him do that then we have a suctioning machine that we have to put down his nose into his lungs that pull out all the junk that he cant cough up. he cant sit up on his own or move his legs so he is in a wheelchair. He is a happy boy though. Im glad i have him in my life cause he always gives me a reason to be happy.

i cry enough tears over him everyday. i thought that my husband and i were getting stronger from this but it turns out that my husband is pretty good at hiding his other life from me. I never thought that my best friend and the love of my life could hurt me so badly. Now im crying all the time and i dont feel the tears of saddness and pain will ever go away.

There are no words, absolutely no words to express my deep compassion for you. All of us can empathize with the pain of infidelity, but very few of us have to endure the impending loss of a child.

When I initially read this thread, I thought perhaps your WH could have used infidelity as a means of escape (not that it would be in anyway appropriate), but then I read your profile and it seems this has been going on longer than the birth of your son. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Is your WH expressing any desire to get help or to save the marriage? If nothing else, are you in IC? Right now, I would step up the sessions if you are. Also, don't hesitate to see your doctor if you need meds (even temporarily) to help you cope with this added crisis.

Please know I'm praying for you and your entire situation.

Oh sweetie I am so sorry about your situation, and very sorry about your DS and his dreaded disease. You sound like a wonderful mom.

With time you'll come to terms that your WH's A was not about you at all. It IS a lot about what's wrong with him - and no matter who you were or what you did for him it wouldn't have mattered.

Please take some time to read in the Healing Library and go ahead and let yourself cry. But make sure you're drinking plenty of water and getting the rest you need. Do you have anyone else close to you that can help with your son once-in-a-while?

(((WC85)))

This is the hardest period; you cry everywhere & anywhere at the drop of a hat- just let yourself cry. Think of it as washing all the anxiety out. Make sure you are eating something & taking vitamins. You will lose weight because of the stress but try to eat. Exercise - walk, bike, whatever, this will help get rid of the adenelin that builds up because of the anxiety. If you are of the mind, keep a journal - kinda helps you focus and work out things at the same time. Don't be afraid to talk to an attorney just to get info on what your position is & what you need to do to protect yourself - it is a scary thing to think of but you will need to protect yourself & your kids. Let your good friends know so you can get a support group & pray if you are a praying person.

(((((wc85))))) I'm sorry for your pain and sad to hear about your precious little son.

No words after reading about your son. ((hugs)) I am so sorry you have so much to lose. Be strong and keep coming back.

I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I have a very good friend who's son has SMA. It does get better as time goes on. The healing process is very long and tiresome. I've put everything else aside and have been concentrating on myself and my children. Taking care of myself in so many ways. IC, journaling and keeping my mind busy is the very best I can do for myself. I had a pastor tell me not to long ago that when I have a tigger, to reach out and capture it...give it to God. I'm strong, capable and a great woman, wife and mom. I'm tough! I truly thought finding out was going to kill me. I fought back for all the right reasons. You will too, one day at a time. And I'm telling you post your ups and downs here too! I've been reading the forums here for about 2 months and finally joined. Here you can rant and rave. Big (((HUGS)))

Dear world,

I am so sorry for your precious son's illness. That in itself is an unimaginable burden of grief, adding infidelity must truly be a crushing blow.

One thing you said really sticks in my mind:

He is a happy boy though. Im glad i have him in my life cause he always gives me a reason to be happy.

Maybe you can try to be happy for the time you have with this little one. Is it possible to put the marriage on the back burner and deal with that at a later point? I do not know if it is possible, because I have never been in a situation like yours. So just a thought.

This precious little boy is very fortunate to have a mom like you. I will be keeping you and your children in my prayers. Sending you hugs, my dear.

I am so sorry that you are going through such a terrible time. Please know that you and your child are in our thoughts and our prayers.

i just want to thank everyone for their kind words. Today has been a better day. I think i have cried all that i can cry and im now on anger. I hope that one day my husband and i can look back at this as our eye opener and actually end up happily married. Thanks again for the kind words.

Sending love and prayers to you and your precious son.

God Bless you and yours - I am so sorry for your pain. Please know what he did is not a reflection of you or your children - it is a reflection of something broken inside of him. If he is strong enough to admit it and get help - please know there is great potential for your future.

It will not be quick and it will not be easy, but it is possible.

Hugs

Glad to see you are still hanging in there.

Hope your son is doing better.

Have you talked to hubby?