SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Wh hd to go out of town overnight talked to him on his way home, a 9pm told me he would be home soon. Got home at 3:45am said he had a flat on the trailer he was hauling on the freeway. Well this am found a number on his cell record and called it , it was a girl that was dancing with his friend at the bar which was where he was at(and refused to answer the phone after 9pm). I went to talk to his friend early this morning to find out what went on he is refusing to talk to me today, and said he would talk to me later didn't want to talk in front of the kids, I told him they already knew what was going on. I don't know what to do I'm dying inside I'm on the verge of throwing him out. I don't need him financially, but I still love him just not the lies and to top it all off he called that slut last night.

Personally, I cannot find it within my heart nor in the depths of my soul to love a LIAR.

Are you in IC?

I'm with Dreamlife on this.

You asked "will the lies ever stop"? Probably not as long as he knows he has all of the power. And he's rubbing your nose in it, too.

Take back your power. That is when the lying stops.

Big hugs.

I just found out and have that same question... But I think that the 180 is the way to go so that you can regain some control over you... You can't control his actions, but you can control yours. Take care of yourself and show him your worth. I know its hard but damn it, we are worth it!!

The lies will never stop until you stop listening to them.

Personally I would throw the lying cheater out right now. Let him know you are not willing to put up with him coming home at 4 in the morning after being out partying with whomever. If this is not an option for you you may consider leaving by yourself for a few days. Is there anyone you can go and stay with for awhile? Can you rent a nice quiet hotel room with a fabulous pool?

If there is a way for you to do this - go! Get away by yourself turn off your cell phone, lick your wounds and stand very firm on what you want. I know that this will be very hard for you to do but trust me it will be the best thing for you. You need distance to focus.

((((hurt))))

Seems to me that his behavior is not changing and he does not respect your feelings at all.

How can he be sorry for what he has done if he is still continuing to do it? Truth is...he's not sorry.

I think you should kick him out, you don't need him for financial reasons.

Show him you are not willing to put up with his whoring behavior and lies.

If that doesn't wake him up then you don't need him. He has hurt you enough already.

"It stops when you say it does!" ~ Dr Phil

"It stops when you say it does!" ~ Dr Phil

Yes.

(((hurt62))) So sorry for what you are going through.

I'm on the verge of throwing him out. I don't need him financially, but I still love him just not the lies and to top it all off he called that slut last night.

You need to assume he will continue lying. Now, based on that knowledge, take a step back and advise yourself as you would a friend. Don't make it an emotional decision. Ask yourself, can you live like this for the rest of your life?

If you can't make that decision on your own, then seek help from an IC. Someone that can coach you and look at things more objectively.

Sometimes, when a WS sees their BS perparing to leave them, it can snap them out of their behavior and force them to change.

You need to start the 180 right away. It may be helpful to read the following thread titled, Understanding the 180:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=232785

[This message edited by HardenMyHeart at 1:13 PM, September 7th (Tuesday)]

"It stops when you say it does!" ~ Dr Phil

love it!!