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Anyone with young kids go from owning a house to renting? Did the kids make the transition ok? Are there things I should be considering that I might not?

So far, the things I can see that will be most missed are:

1) no yard,

2) inability to paint the walls any color they like,

3) need to be a little more quiet/considerate than before, and

4) shared laundry (though that's more my issue).

Clearly, I would prefer to rent a house which would alleviate most of these things. But chances are we'd end up in a duplex or apartment. So, I am going to give weight to things like:

1) ground floor units,

2) playground and/or pool on site, or

3) near parks.

Also, as far as decorating, while they cannot paint, I will be introducing them to the wonderful world of posters and removable wall decals. I think that will help them out.

Also, the space is going to be limited. Two bedrooms are going to be what I can afford. My plan is to put the boys in one room. The girl will have her own room. When it's a night they are with me, I will sleep on a futon in the living room and then it's a night they are with their mom, I will sleep in the girl's room (she'll get my bed).

I'd appreciate any advice from the vets.

I only have one DD11 and I lucked out. A friend of mine's father owns a lot of property and houses and they rented me this one cheap. It's a 3-bedroom on an acre of land, but it's rural. Do you have any connections you could leverage?

My ex lives in an apt complex. He has a ground floor apt as he didn't want to deal with stairs. He did have one set of neighbors above him that were horribly loud (I think they're gone now), and when my older son was in the top bunk, the whole ceiling would shake above him, he said.

He does have a 3 bedroom apt though, and daughter has her own room and sons share, although since the smallest one ends up in a parent's bed every night, he's really not sharing.

He also has his own washer-dryer in his apt.

There is both a playground and pool/clubhouse on site. They hang pictures on the wall, but can't paint, but the kids don't seem to mind.

I guess if you have to go the apt route and a 2 bedroom is all you can afford, it would probably be fine, but I would try to swing a 3 bedroom if you can, particularly as your daughter gets older, so she feels like she has her own space at your place or doesn't feel like she's displacing you when she comes, and you don't have to share, but in the meantime, it should work OK.

One concern with apt complexes to me, is the variable of more strangers coming and going and a less liklihood of knowing neighbors. My kids do have friends at their dad's apt complex, but there are also a lot of young singles, drinking at the pool etc which kind of clashes with a family atmosphere.

If you must go apt, look for one with other kids. Check out if it looks like Party Central or Melrose Place.

Sounds like you're working on a plan. Good luck to you.

I actually had a friend in the same situation as you. Four young kids under the age of 10 and renting.

He had a three bedroom townhouse that seemed to work well. The two floors were a good separation of living space.

I like the idea of renting a house too. That may be a good option.

It sounds as if you are on the right track.

A house with small yard would be ideal but it is what works for you.

When it was just my young DD and me, I rented a 1 bedroom. Mostly because of $$$. I did ground floor. Nice size bedroom so she got it and I put my clothes in there.Like you, I slept on a futon thingy. It worked OK. I was lucky the apt. was in a residential area so very much a neighborhood.

gma

I should clarify something - this would be short to mid term. We're talking 3 years I think. This is not long term at all.

In fact, one good reason to rent for 3 years is that I will have more to put toward a mortgage after that amount.

If it tanks, I could probably go to a house in as little as two years.

But for the short term, buying a house isn't going to be an option.

My kids handled the move fine. I'm renting a house so we don't have alot of those issues. It would have been cheaper to rent an apt, but with four kids I felt like I needed a house.

The twins and I are renting a three-bedroom apartment. We are on the second floor, but the stairs from our attached garage are in the interior of the apartment (sort of like a townhouse, but only a foyer on the first floor).

I was permitted to paint, as long as I painted back to the original wall color.

The kids do fine, although I have had to make a point of taking them to the park, since running out the door into the back yard isn't a possibility. We do have a screened-in porch, so that helps with getting them plenty of fresh air.

I'm hoping that I can move into a house with them within 1-2 years.

HTH.

I own two investment properties (townhouse and single family house) and rent both to single parent families (purely coincidentally). Check out Craigslist-- you can frequently get a whole townhouse or duplex etc. for the same price or LESS than an apartment owned by a corporation. Landlords that are not corporations are often more flexible with regard to painting etc. Both of my tenants have painted with the provision that I get to "approve" colors and what rooms are being painted in advance.

I spent a lot of time with my kids in an apartment about a year ago (my SO was living in a different city in an apartment) and it was TOUGH. They were not used to the noise of living in an apartment and were not used to how quiet you need to be to not bother the neighbors.

GOOD LUCK!

I rent a house now and over the years have rented apartments and duplexes as well. Some places allow you to paint, especially if they are light colors that only take one coat to cover and/or if you return the room to the original color when you move out.

The last couple places I rented, a duplex and the house I am in, were actually cheaper than renting an apartment.

An apartment can have definite advantages such as a pool and playground area and the maintenance is usually very timely. My house is older and my landlady is great and allows us to paint, etc...we have a yard and can join the neighborhood pool..but the house is older and not as "pretty" and sometimes it can take a while for non-emergency issues to be taken care of. It is a trade off.

If you have some time really do your research and look in the local classifieds for rentals, apartment and otherwise.

When we had to sell the family home to cover exH's debt, the kids made the transition to a rental pretty well. After only six months, the owner was foreclosed on and we had to move again, and that time they were less resilient.

Each time we've had to downsize and give up certain amenities in order to be in the right school district, but for my kids, their schools and our pets were the most important considerations.

Thankfully, this last time, a friend of a friend was looking for a renter at the same time we were displaced and she was willing to take a chance on me - kids and pets included.

I'd spread the word you're looking and see who can connect you with a good place.

Good luck!

I was in your sitch over a year ago. The transition was completely dependent on how I reacted to the situation. Nobody likes moving from a house to an apartment, but there were many pros and cons.

If you need to talk about it, just PM me, our situations are similar.

Since then, I'm in a new house with the kids and they havent seen their mother in over 2 months....

Life goes on...

I moved from my house (that I loved) to an apartment/condo... At my house, my kids (a boy, age 9 and a girl, age 7) had to share a bedroom. In my condo, they get their own rooms. In my house, there is one bathroom. In my condo, there are two. [Yes, only in the Bay Area can you move from a house to a condo and get more space! ] My kids love the condo -- there are other kids to play with and they don't mind not having a yard -- the pool helps in the summer. I took them with me to look at it before renting and talked with them about it -- all of which helped make the transition as smooth as possible. It can be done! Good luck.

[Edited for typo ]

[This message edited by Shyla at 6:25 PM, September 7th (Tuesday)]

We went from a large farmhouse on a 10-acre property in the country to living in a tiny little townhome in suburbia. It was quite the culture shock!

At the time, my children were 6 and 7 years old. They didn't seem to really mind the much smaller environment. The one thing they missed the most were their friends.

We live in a two story townhome. We are two houses away from a small neighborhood park with a playground. No pool anywhere nearby. Fortunately, their grandparents only live about 15 minutes away and have a pool in their neighborhood, so the kids do get to spend a lot of time in the water every summer.

Looking back, I'm surprised just how easily the kids transitioned into their new environment. Children truly are very resilient. Unlike their mother, who had a much harder time getting used to this new environment.