SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

8 mos. out from my discovery of my wifes secret life. Our relationship is better than it ever was.

It takes work/sweat/tears/openmindedness and patience. but it can be done.

I wouldn't call us out of the woods yer or reconciled yet, but close.

Don't rush into any decision.

LOVE IT! I second this post - just 6-1/2 months out and nowhere near done, but the potential our marriage has today is beyond what I could of imagined even on the day we said, "I Do".

Another thumbs up for this post. We are 13 months post dday. Although I have cried more tears in the last 13 months than I probably have in my lifetime...and there are still days now that I do...I am so grateful that I didn't walk away. I was the one fought hard for R while H was in false R. Of all the pain of his A, the false R was the most painful and the thing I still struggle with today. But when he looks at me and tells me he is more in love with me now than ever, it was worth it.

Hang in there. In the beginning I hated the word TIME, but everyone was right...it takes TIME.

Getting By-

I have the exact same DDay as you and I agree with you 100%. Our marriage is better now than either of us ever imagined that it could be. We still have work to do but I am so glad that I gave it time and that we are the couple we are today!

Can any of you share what you feel made the difference? Did you 180? Was it IC/MC?

I agree with strongish. What has helped the most? How did you start to trust again?

My DDay was also in January 2010, but as you can see in my signature and in my profile, there have been a number of setbacks.

I know they say WW transparency, remorse, getting into MC, etc. WW has done all of those. Since August she swears that I have the 100% truth and does not want to contact mOM ever again.

Looking for advice from those who are succeeding in R.

Great post and advice, thanks for sharing. I'm happy for both of you.

My DDay is fairly recently but I feel my wife and I are doing great and I feel closer to her now than ever. I feel I couldn't have as easy a time with it if it weren't for my wife and her attitude to help me through this and make our marriage work. I read all kinds of posts about how the WS will become closed off, pass blame, look for fights. I thank God when I read those that my wife is totally into making our relationship better.

Things can get better and they have. My biggest obstacle is my own pride and that is something i will deal with as i can. But do see a possibility for sunshine ahead!

Thats wonderful!! what great news to hear!!

One of the keys was that I was told by someone on here "don't be surprised if you have to do the heavy lifting early on" it was true, plus I set about fixing the things that deep down in my heart I knew my wife was right to be dissappointed in. I found out I was dissapointed in them too. I didn't try to fix everything my wife threw out as an excuse, just the stuff I knew was true.

I agree with strongish. What has helped the most? How did you start to trust again?

My DDay was also in January 2010, but as you can see in my signature and in my profile, there have been a number of setbacks.

I know they say WW transparency, remorse, getting into MC, etc. WW has done all of those. Since August she swears that I have the 100% truth and does not want to contact mOM ever again.

Looking for advice from those who are succeeding in R.

With every TT you essentially rewind the clock as a BS. So in reading your signature R has not truly started for you till last month. After only a month of full transparency I don't think anyone would expect you to trust at all.

I thought right after Dday I could handle it, if what I was hearing was what it was I was going to be all right. 6 weeks of TT later and my belief in him was well under zero and I lost all respect in him, our M, his character, etc. Real R has to be 100% in. I'm sure you had those feelings with each new reveal that you were right back in the beginning with the emotions and anxiety, etc.

If I'm way out in left field feel free to set me straight

7 months out for me. My FWH has been remorseful and honest from the get go. Our relationship is getting so much better. He told me last night he is content. We are working very hard to keep communication open. We love each other very much, and there is no room for anyone else. She tries little tricky things, but, it doesn't matter. We are riding this ride together.