SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Dummy me was trying to clean up the pictures on my computer, and I come across some pitures of me and WH. Some as recent as 2 weeks before he walked out on us. In all of these pictures he is smiling, he honestly looks happy. There is even one of us dancing together and he is looking down at me like I was the love of his life.

I tried looking at his eyes...nothing..No clues! He just looks happy.

I don't get it. It's not like he was here either saying he wasnt happy.

He told me everyday more than once a day that he loved me the most, and he was sorry for hurting me in the past.

He wanted to do everything with me.

How can someone just wake up one day and walk out on his family if everything on the outside pointed to he was happy and loved me loved us?

Pictures don't lie!

Damn those pictures! I feel like someone punched me in my stomach.

I wish he could tell me how he could do this to us. How he walks away from 20 years. How he can be so happy, but then just walk out on us. I wish I could just get some answers.

I know, I know. One of my most favorite pictures I had of me and STBX was one taken by my daughter. We visited her on our 28th anniversary. 4 days later, I keylogged the computer and got the proof of the affair. Also found out that weekend he was sneaking off and calling MOW on his cell. (He didn't even consider that I was going to see the bill, idiot.)

He was sitting there in this picture with his arm tight around me, grinning ear to ear. Turns out, he was only thinking about her all weekend.

We are headed to D. I recently I purged the house of all pictures of the two of taken in the last two years...they were all lies. How they live with themselves is beyond me; they truly are broken to be able to treat another human being like this.

I can relate having to sort all the papers for the legal aspects and I come across pictures and cards and like your husband mine was always talking about his wonderful wife and kids now he doesn't talk with us but a bare minimum every 2 weeks or so. Called me 2-3 times a day ILY now zip like he turned a page after 17 yrs it has been difficult

Pod people. They're everywhere.

I had 20 years worth of pictures that left me scratching my head and going WTF?

Big hugs. It's not easy but it will get easier.

This last Christmas I shredded. Not picutures, those I just put in a box in the closet, the kids might want them someday. I took down the wedding pics, the family photos. The most recent one was taken after d-day as he was professing all his love to me I did hang a family one in the kid's bedroom, they wanted one up of him, and I put that one and one with him and his family in their room. But all his documents he left, I kept all tax and legal stuff, but everything else, I ran through a shredder, it felt good. He looks happy because he is a liar, because these kind of people can be that decietful.

2 weeks before we invited OW and her kids into our house, I wrote a journal entry about love and the meaning of love and how much I loved X. Little did I know that in 4 months he would tell me that he had been soooooo fucking unhappy for 10 YEARS and that he did not love me. Not to mention the shit he told OW, like he M me because he felt sorry for me

It is all a fantasy life for them. They make up conveinient lies to support their fantasy. I have learned that I cannot trust one damned memory that I had of our M because according to him it was all false. After many years of his gaslighting I finally conceded -- yes it was all false, none of it was real, I was never happy, he was never happy, blah blah fuckity blah.

(((hugs)))

Put the pics on a CD and label it for your kids. Maybe they will want them in 20 years. But for now, just don;t look at them. Don't torture yourself like that.

Angie, now is not the time to be looking at these.

I am well over a year divorced, and I am just now beginning to sort through the photos!

Stop torturing yourself. Focus on getting stronger, not engaging, and creating a new home environment for those boys.

Love do

Take new photos of you and the kids.

Replace them around your home. I have boxed up and moved out of the house whatever photos I have of Rat Bastard.

Glad my computer crashed and got rid of a lot of photos - it did the purging for me.

I love the photos of the kids and I on our last vacation. Not only are they Rat Bastard-free photos, it reminds me that not only can we survive, we thrive.

Regarding your WH - they are fucked up. Pure and simple.

You can't figure out stupid.

Like do said, leave him behind and focus on your boys.

It is amazing how healing it is building new memories with your children.

You will soon find you don't need him and he probably was a weight that needed to be left at the bottom of the sea, where he belongs.