SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My first d-day was almost 2yrs ago. Can't remember exact date. H had been texting/emailing talking inappropriate flirting w/ our realtor for 2mo. I confronted them. They said it was nothing. She was supposed 2 go her way and us ours..and for awhile that's how it was until 18mo. later my H calls her up & starts up a secret friendship w/her..which leads to them screwing! 2or3 month. Of flirting and then he told her he loved her and gave her attention & she became his f-buddy for 3o....so much for "just friends" how long does an affair last on average? I have heard on average 6mo. And if it ends at 6mo. Its becuz the infatuation wore off and there was nothing 2 real 2 keep it going..like love or strong feelings. My h ended or atleast was trying 2 end it at 5mo. N2 it and ow didn't want 2 stop they argued for another month. And then supposedly h & ow were done when I founf out 2days later. He still had photos of them on his cell..that's how I found out..and the texts of her complaining about how she new he was never gonna leave me. Which I don't understand why he kept arguing w/her all thru may if it was "over" or if he had truly ended it why a month. Later he still had photos of him and her and naked pic's of her..doesn't seem like it was truly "over" but honestly in my heart I think my fucktard H wanted it 2 b over h just couldn't seem 2 end it! I think he did it half ass & me finding out and telling "EVERYONE" and going ape shit helped him get his head out of her ass! He says he died inside when he had 2 face what he had done 2 me 2 our kids our entire family over his "fu¤kfriend"...he said when he realized he was gonna lose me it was a wake up call..like his life flashed b4 his eyes..he could lose everything, lose me...it pisses me off that it took him screwing some old slut 2 realize he really did love me and our life 2gether after he fu¤ked it all away..ugh I'm ranting! If anyone has any opinion or insight on length of affair and if length of affair makes a difference I'd appreciate it..my struggling w/ being w/my h or just moving on and wondering if hurting alone and not having 2 see him would be better than staying w/him and looking at the man I used 2 trust so naively and love so much. Sometimes I wonder if its just 2 late. 2 many lies and secrets, that he what he has done 2 me so blatantly & selfishly is a deal breaker..is just 2 much 2 take. How can some1 say they always loved u that u meant everything except when they r fu¤king their whore in some church parking lot! Wtf! Really!!

I don't think there is such a thing as an average length of time.

All situations are different...everything from one nighters to decades long.

All I know is that it has been said that the longer the infidelity occurred the longer it takes to heal.

IDK. I'll let you know when I get there!

i have been here at SI for a couple of years now...and ive seen em everywhere from a one night stand to 25 to 30 years....or more..

Most dont last more than a few months....my FWWs A lasted 6 to 8 weeks...and that was too long...

I know thats not much help....they all suck....

Discounting exit affairs...most affairs duration are directly related to how deep and long the fog lasts...the APs either get caught - then realize that As are just a lie based, fantasy quick fix, and a form of self medication for pre-affair issues.....

I believe that there is not really an average time frame....just too many factors....sorry....JMO.

Bufffalo