SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'm trying to live the 180. Over the past couple of days, I was doing it well.

Today it went out the window. I broke down, and begged her to stay. I was even considering to ignore the NC rule. Why am I so stupid. Why are these horrible emotions ruling my life.

My head says one thing, my heart the other. My stupid mouth seems to listen to my heart.

I know I don't deserve to feel this way. But I do. Why is living the 180 so hard for me.....

because you are hurting.

I didn't do 180, but I can't imagine that it is easy for anyone.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Take a deep breath and start again tomorrow.

dont beat yourself up man....i blew it a couple of times myself....its OK.

Why Am I So Weak???????

.....cause you got kicked in the teeth....and im still spittin' 'em out myself...

One thing for sure, bro....you will survive this infidelity bullshit....one way or another...

Keep us posted...

Bufffalo

Don't be so hard on yourself.

First of all...180 is difficult for most of us.

Also you are dealing with your confusion, sadness, anger, scaredness, abandonment issues and about a gazillion other emotions...all at the same time.

This rollercoaster ride makes it so hard to do much of anything in a rational manner.

Are you in IC? If not, it may help you. I would have lost my sanity long ago if not for mine!

Hang in there elad. It will get better bit by little bit.

TIME...awful word...get used to it.

(((((elad)))))

Don't be so hard on yourself.

i agree.....i was rather pitiful for the first 6 weeks or so after my Dday....then my balls dropped - and i got pissed....

I drew a line in the dirt...(like Travis at the Alamo)...i set my limitations...and told the cheatin' bitch what they were...AND I BACKED IT UP!!!

You'll figure just how much you will tolerate.....it will happen.

I am a strong advocate of the 180.....it will make you a better AND stronger person....reguardless that you R or D...You will survive.

Draw that line...then back it up...

Bufffalo

I,Ve read the healing library. But how did you people cope during the early stages? If I'm not in anxiety, I'm numb. Or, as I found out today, begging?

how did you people cope during the early stages?

By taking it hour-by-hour and day-by-day.

Try some meal replacement/protein shakes if you're still having trouble eating. Hit the pavement and go for a run, or jump on a bike, or go to the gym and pump some weights or pound a bag. Go to your doctor, get a check-up see if there is any medication he/she can recommend to help you get through on a temporary basis whether it be to lessen your anxiety or to help you sleep.

And get back up on the 180 horse again brother. You may well get knocked down a few times in the process, but keep dusting yourself off and climbing back aboard. Practice makes perfect. You will get through this...

What Lotsa said.

Even if you don't have the energy for work-outs, a simple short walk will help.

I personally found the alone time while taking walks to be calming as well. Not so calming when I took the dog with, but still a nice respite.

I can't tell you how many times I would jump in the car, drive to McD's, get a large coffee and just sit and listen to radio sipping coffee. I was afraid someone was going to accuse me of staking out the places in shopping center for robbery since I spent so much time there.

Seriously, do whatever it takes to put your focus elsewhere when needed. Hard to do, I know.

Oops, sorry post so long.

Take care of you and keep us posted.

Elad,

All I can say is this sucks. There is no easy way around this--you have to plow straight through.

You've probably read the 180 several times, and I'm sure it seems impossible. But keep remembering that it is there for you to help you get stronger; shaking your wife out of the fog is a by-product.

Pick yourself up, gather the pieces, and try again. Keep reading and posting. And like the others that have posted, KNOW that this is the best way to get through your pain. Stand strong--you didn't put yourself in this mess and it's not fair, but you can climb out.