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Strawda (original poster member #38766) posted at 4:57 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
Do you ever feel lost as I do trying to make everything ok. An feel overwelmd at times? I feel I am not doing enuf work and im not bringing my BS closer. I feel i am trying to work on tomanny parts of my self thats dmgd at once and running in place not moven forword. What is some ways to Finde out who you are as a person and what you stand for and show your BS you understand who and what you want in life. My BS sess I have to finde me and help me B4 I can help her or us. Whats some good ways to show and learn? what is some ways to your BS you love them and want a life with them. Seying it dont help cuss I sed it when I had an A. So is hard to beleave anything I sey. An she asks how do I new I truely do. I can only think of how it feels inside and I tell her that. What are some other ways to prove I love her?
27male 1kid, Lost 6year relationship(Wanting to Reconsile with BS)
hardlessons ( member #35025) posted at 5:11 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
Strawda, first you have to understand that this is a marathon, not a sprint. A lot of your answers if you work the process of healing come about in their own time. Can't make the answers appear. Although we have all tried that!!
If you ever saw the movie "What about Bob" you have to take baby steps first.. There is no "Proving love". Your BS is right in saying you need to work on you before you can really help her. You can be supportive to her, but you need to get into IC, reading books, posting on SI to find out what allowed you to think it was ok to cheat. These ACTIONS will show her more than any words can.
Are you doing any or all of the above?
Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."
Strawda (original poster member #38766) posted at 6:52 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
I am in IC, an have books and talkd to my BS about the whys alot. But still need to prove I am werth keeping and Show Ihave self werth as well. She asks How do Iknow I love her thou. If its showing then why dos my BS ask the how do I know then? Cuss shes wanting words that prove I do as well. What do You do to make your self better and know your self and reusure you wont ever cheat ever again? So manny things to prove. But its a gift she is giving me this chance and didnt leave me. I just need to do everything I can to keep her now cuss I didnt show it as the MONSTER I was during the A 
27male 1kid, Lost 6year relationship(Wanting to Reconsile with BS)
UnexpectedSong ( member #21761) posted at 11:59 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
Have you read "The Five Love Languages"? Some people experience love through receiving gifts. Some through listening to loving words. Some through someone spending time with them. If you use your W's love language, it helps you express your love.
WW(SA)
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Boris Becker
LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 12:16 AM on Tuesday, March 26th, 2013
Five Love Languages is a very good book. So simple/very effective. You can take a look online too at, 5lovelanguages.com
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
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