SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Some suggested after the affair by Janis spring.

It there any others that I/we should read?

I can go to the library. I have a few days off so I can read threw them.

Thanks in advance.

Mistakes were made, but not by me.

Great Book! It's not about infidelity, except for a small part, but a great book none the less.

Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass. Good read.

I liked Intimacy After Infidelity by Solomon and Teagno and After the Affair by Janis Spring as someone else recommended The latter definitely made for a really emotional read.... really made me dig deep. (WH hasn't gone through the book yet but it seems like it might be even tougher emotionally for / on the other side.)

After the Affair pissed me off; there was a bit too much of the "the BS owns part of the responsibility for the A" in it for me, at least early on.

For me, The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson was helpful; it also was helpful for my husband, who has serious FOO issues.

If you have a remorseful spouse, The Linda McDonald book, How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair is a good read; it is a quick read, and has lots of practical advice.

Not JUST Friends by Shirley Glass is a good one, too.

I liked how to help your spouse heal from your affair. We bought not just friends as well but it is geared more for the emotional and long term affairs which did not apply in my situation.

After the Affair pissed me off; there was a bit too much of the "the BS owns part of the responsibility for the A"

^^^Ditto. I don't recommend it as a read....it places blame on the BS for the affair, which we know the WS is an adult who made his/her own choices.

My copy ended up in the trash.

Hubby is getting me

"Transcending Post Traumatic Infidelity Disorder"

As a pre anniversary gift. I know because he asked my psychiatrist if it would be ok since my doctor thinks I suffer from ptid. He said he didn't want to cause more heartache for me but that he liked what he read about the book. We often read together and he said he thought it would be good for us to read.

After the Affair: She has a good understanding about the pain both parties - the Hurt Partner and the Unfaithful Partner - are experiencing. I know someone commented that they felt she was asking the BS to own part of the A. I didn't get that message. I felt she was asking the BS to "own" any behaviour that contributed to the breakdown of the marriage. Personally, I saw myself in that. I liked her real life and varied examples of couples in this crisis, what the WH needs to do (high cost behaviours) to help their spouse heal,how to talk about the A in order to heal, sex again, and not to rush to forgive until you are really ready.

Helping your Spouse Heal by Linda MacDonald is also good (she endorses some reads at the back of her book as well). She is very clear about what legitimate, remorseful behavoiur looks like. Practical tips for the WS. I flipped through it knowing that my H will read it.

[This message edited by LA44 at 3:17 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)]

How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair by Linda MacDonald. I read this. I probably should have gift wrapped it and given it to him. I used it to tell him what I need from this point on. I have After the Affair and we would read it together and discuss. I think that process helped. He was soooo defensive at first. I guess he thought I was going to punish him somehow. I love that false sense of security. I am just waiting for the right opportunity. It will come.

We read After the Affair together too Daledge. He bought it and then I picked it up. We committed to R so we felt this was the book to help us on that journey.

Keep us posted 27years.

Good suggestions listed above. I have read 4 in less than two months and I am not a reader. I felt the need to gather everything possible in the shortest time.

My suggestion is to read slowly. Or do like me, I will be reading "not just friends" again. So that is might sink in more and I feel like I might have a slightly different perspective now.