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HurtsButImOK (original poster member #38865) posted at 12:00 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
So, went to lawyer yesterday, got the ball rolling and letter will be going to XWSO to provide financial info to kick start the process.
I hate this, it was everything I was trying to avoid. I know that shit will hit the fan, it will get nasty and petty and stupid. I dont want to be here. We had reach an agreement that we both signed off on in Dec. Why cant anything be easy!!!!
Feels like a whole new bit of grieving to be done. Going down the path I so very wanted to avoid.
Why do I still hope he will have some shred of honour and decency??? Why cant he just be a little bit remorseful and not throw me away like I meant nothing. I dont even want him back, I think I would have just liked the option to say 'no'. But I dont get that. Just more bullshit to deal with.
It feels like so very many years of my life were wasted.
Sorry just a bad day and wanted to get it out.
ps-its friggen hard to type when you cant see through the tears. 
Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
permanentpain ( member #38312) posted at 12:14 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
So sorry hon, it will get better with time. I keep telling myself that.((hurtsbutimok))
Me: 32 y/o, student and mom of two of the best kids in the world
Him: 33 y/o scumbag
Divorcing
Feels good to start laughing and feeling better again...
disillusioned12 ( member #37542) posted at 1:12 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
((HurtsButImOK))
I'm sorry.
Why cant he just be a little bit remorseful and not throw me away like I meant nothing. I dont even want him back, I think I would have just liked the option to say 'no'.
Right there with you. Stay strong. You will get through this and you will be okay.
BS (Me)
WS (H)
Married 5 yrs; Together 10 yrs
D-Day 11/14/12
EA(PA?)
Limbo 1 month
False R 2 months.
Status: Divorce on hold
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 2:19 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
(((((hugs))))) (((((more hugs))))) I am so sorry you are hurting so much right now. Be gentle with yourself and know that it will get better. It doesn't seem like it now but it will. Hugs and support, dmari
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:36 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
HurtsButImOK (original poster member #38865) posted at 10:30 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
thank you all so very much for the hugs and support, I really needed them today.
Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
MichelleRenee ( member #38880) posted at 4:18 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
I'm actually right with ya'. I am simply waiting for my STBX to get served at work. Shit will hit the fan hardcore because he has no idea I have a lawyer. He kept saying he "didn't want to get a lawyer" and that he "wanted to be civil" but he has been harassing me about moving out and about throwing one of my kids out of their room now so he can bring in a roommate this weekend.
Nothing is going to be civil. Oh, and mine isn't sorry at all. He simply wants to "start his new life". lol
Me - 37
lying cheating a-hole - 36
kids - 17,12,10
D-day 3/25/2013
Filed for divorce 3/26/2013
doneX10 ( new member #38957) posted at 6:19 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Itdoes hurt and I am so sorry that you are going through this. I just made a call to an attorney and set an appointment for a consultation. It is going to be a bit of a surprise, but he signed right up for it.
Hugs and strength to you.
BS-Me 54
WH-61 going on 12
2 adult children
Dday- too many to count
Cautiously reconciling
lonelylost ( member #36784) posted at 9:15 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
(((HurtsButImOK)))
Things will get worse, but then they will get so, so, so, so much better!
Hang in there! Post often.
Here's a quote: "When you find yourself going through hell, KEEP GOING!" -Winston Churchill.
Divorced Jan 2013
"Don't look back, the road is long."
- Needtobreathe
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 9:58 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Its always darkest before the dawn
Listen to your lawyer. Expect X to continue to be a monster. Do not believe for one second that he will be in any way reasonable here. If he is, it will be a present surprise but don't bank on it.
I'm in court 'fighting' for 50% - now it looks like he's going to stop paying for daycare/school so in addition to forcing me to court for our marital assets (I'd be an idiot to accept 30%) he will also force me to take legal action to have the ridiculous $8k p/a CS adjusted (the calculator caps at $120k - he earns double that - the system doesn't believe that a high earner would do 'that' to his kids).
All because he wants to bite his nose off to spite his face. This is ALL an attempt to keep me in his tangled web. Temporarily, monster - temporarily. You're already in my rear view mirror.
We shall see if the courts will allow him to achieve his goal of being a deadbeat dad.
((HurtsButImOK)) Try to keep your emotions out of it. I failed and it has cost me more money and heartache than I care to remember. Stay strong.
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
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