SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Sat my stbx down last night and told him I'll be filing for divorce. 18 months since we seperated and I'm done. Yesterday I knew and felt that i was done and was at peace. Today I'm grieving...like I knew I would, but I'm also confused, scared and not as certain anymore. Is this normal?

I can't see myself with him ever, but I'm struggling with this last piece because I thought and have felt so solid with this these last few months.

Is second guessing normal? Looking at the kids I'm aching for them...that it didn't work. I'm scared I didn't try hard enough, maybe he will change, or I'm unnecessarily hurting my kids. Idk...maybe this is normal and I'm just grieving but I'm super discouraged, and so depressed. Haven't felt like this in months. I want my relief back.

I don't think you would be human if you didn't second guess yourself. It is a huge decision and sad no matter what the circumstances are. I know I'll be sad when I get those final divorce papers. I know I'm better off without STBXH, but it's still sad for my kids, the broken dreams, etc.

You will have good days and bad days through this process, but you will get to the other side. Hugs.

Thank you!!! Guess I thought I had gotten past the second guessing. Good to know this is normal.

I was scared he would change too as soon as I filed. But that is just thinking in a twisted way that this is our fault...that we are the problem.

I'm 15 months out from d-day, 5 months out from D and I can tell you that my ex-shat has not changed...he's gotten worse. I, on the other hand, have changed for the better.

Keep moving forward. You will get there.

((((lotsoflove))))

Absolutely normal!!! Don't second guess yourself. Continue to move forward. It takes 2 people who want to work on the marriage.

I remember soon after d-day, I actually felt jealous towards stbx's girlfriend that she would get the new and improved (due to therapy that he was supposedly doing) stbx when I had put in my 25 years!! Of course I can laugh now ... he has not changed one bit. In fact, he has taken selfishness to the next level. A level I didn't even know existed.

It most certainly hurts in the beginning. Surround yourself with support, post and read here often, treat yourself to something nice (flowers, nail polish), focus on what YOU want YOUR future to look like!

((lotsoflove))

I know how hard it must have been but it is over, take a deep breath. I am also readying myself for the talk - once more. Tried 2x before in the past couple of weeks but he refused to listen.

It is okay to feel blue but try to focus on the great things to come. Life is so precious and spending any more time with someone who doesn't truly value the treasure their spouse or significant other is not an option.