This Topic is Archived
Betrayed67 (original poster member #38134) posted at 12:07 AM on Friday, May 3rd, 2013
Thought I share this link to everyone here who is still getting their head around why WS minimizes their actions. I found this to be really enlightening.
http://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/betrayal-the-secrecy-factor
Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
Married 13years
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites
Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 1:22 AM on Friday, May 3rd, 2013
Ashland 13
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
cheerless ( member #38135) posted at 2:10 AM on Friday, May 3rd, 2013
Integrity is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a man who won't cheat, then you know he never will.
^That, & this:
Commitments are a big deal and the impact of infidelity is extreme. Integrity stays true to commitments even when no one is watching. If you believe that statement to be true but you’re someone who violates their beliefs, then you need to explore what rationalizations you’re using to violate your beliefs.
(I could really just cut & paste the whole thing!)
Thank you for sharing this, B67!
♪I'm not fine; I'm in pain
It's harder every day ~ Maroon 5♫
BS:45 WH:47 needhelp123
8yr EA&PA w/MCOW emp/frmr emp
19y M * 25y T, 2 teens
DDay 12/31/12*5w TT
Sick tired sad
Betrayed67 (original poster member #38134) posted at 2:14 AM on Friday, May 3rd, 2013
You are all welcome. This article just explains a lot of my WS behavior. The author was describing my WS to a T!
Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
Married 13years
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites
cosmicjoke ( member #39159) posted at 4:10 AM on Friday, May 3rd, 2013
Thank you B67. This is something we've all been struggling to describe to our SO's.. (it's sad that we should even have to!)... & Mr. Reynolds puts it into words so accurately.
Re- 'Secrecy plays a huge factor in the absence of guilt':
Yes obviously.. but there's more to it than that.... you also need an extreme lack of basic human empathy to have an absence of guilt (think serial killer). You view other people as just 'things' to be used for your own advantage. Plus sick people get a sick thrill in 'getting away with something'.. it gives them a high like a drug.
absolut ( member #37933) posted at 5:38 AM on Friday, May 3rd, 2013
stilltrying2025 ( member #39145) posted at 4:05 PM on Friday, May 3rd, 2013
What an awesome article. Thank you for sharing!
Me: 38
WH: 43
DD: Thanksgiving Day, 2012
Status: Separated
Sal1995 ( member #39099) posted at 4:16 PM on Friday, May 3rd, 2013
This article just explains a lot of my WS behavior. The author was describing my WS to a T!
And the article was written by a former WS, which gives it a little more weight IMO.
Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 7:37 PM on Friday, May 3rd, 2013
I think of secrecy also as a controlling device.???
Ashland 13
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
This Topic is Archived
