This Topic is Archived
rachelc (original poster member #30314) posted at 2:31 AM on Saturday, May 4th, 2013
I found out from BFF number 1 that BFF number 2 is thinking if starting up a hot yoga studio... So I'm a little peeved she hasn't told me but I laugh and send her a text "hey, I wanna hear all about your new business plan 
". She says yes ill tell you about it! Then i text hubby and say "guess who's starting a hit yoga studio?" No reply. He gets home and says hey I got your text but I already knew that. She came to the bank and talked to one of my guys about a month ago.
So, he's known about this for a month and has asked me several times if he thought hot yoga was trendy and if I thought it would last, all because he wanted to know if his business should fund one of my BFF's business. And I knew nothing..,
I feel betrayed. I cried. I said its like I'm the last one in one a secret. Two people I love know something I don't know, together .. They both have reasons to keep this from me- she doesn't know if it'll fly, he has to protect his customers confidentiality, although he tells me EVERYTHING! About who is filing bankruptcy, etc.
Two years ago I could have cared less. Now, I feel that he had a secret and he used me for information...
This stuff fucks up thinking.
jjsr ( member #34353) posted at 2:39 AM on Saturday, May 4th, 2013
Yes it does. Its horrible that I always question what he is saying. I don't always question out loud but I do question.
Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 6:50 AM on Saturday, May 4th, 2013
I would consider this a betrayal. You're supposed to be a team first.
I think they both put you in a bad situation here. Can't he see that?
(((rachelc)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 9:14 PM on Saturday, May 4th, 2013
The fact that your H tells you about the bank's customers' personal business is a big problem. He simply shouldn't be doing that. It's probably a symptom of lousy boundaries, and he needs to change that.
It would have been honest for him to say he's got a request for a loan for a new hot yoga business and ask your opinion on it. But he seems to have lousy boundaries, and not saying things that should be said could be part of that....
For me, I'd be upset with some friends if they didn't tell me about their biz plans. Others, not so much.
Sorry this BFF kept you in the dark.
[This message edited by sisoon at 3:16 PM, May 4th (Saturday)]
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
This Topic is Archived
