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New Beginnings :
Random musings and how to break out of a funk

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 InTheRabbitHole (original poster member #19319) posted at 7:42 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

Well, I'm a month in the new place and so far so good. It's not as nice as my old one, but much closer to work. Just needs a little time to feel like home I guess and for me to put some personal touches on it.

It's been only 2 days since my last contact with XH. We had been going back and forth and it was just ugly. He got what he wanted money wise, so I suspect I'll never hear from him again. At this point I still struggle with keeping NC.

I've been on my own for a year and have been dating a guy for a while. It doesn't seem to be going anywhere and I'm not sure what to do. We have compatibility issues, but he is the polar opposite of my ex. I like him, but don't love him. Pretty sure he doesn't love me either. We spend one or two evenings together a week. How do you know when it's time to let go of a relationship that just isn't going anywhere?

Right now life is... ok... that's it. I think I'm in a funk and need to figure out how to get out of it. Any suggestions?

posts: 204   ·   registered: Apr. 29th, 2008
id 6330786
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nolight ( member #32785) posted at 8:08 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

I think that you may have already one to the conclusion that its time to move on, it sounds like tis may just be another relationship that is preventing you from truly moving forward with your life.

Do you think you are afraid to be alone?

We make our own fortunes and call them fate, and what better excuse to choose a path then to insist it's our destiny.

posts: 610   ·   registered: Jul. 14th, 2011
id 6330846
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tabitha95 ( member #22033) posted at 11:08 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

I wish I had an answer. I'm in the same relationship funk right now.

My anxiety has been worse lately and I don't know if that is messing with my feelings about him, or if my feelings about him are increasing my anxiety.

I think we both know what we need to do.

BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

posts: 3266   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2008
id 6331186
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 1:41 AM on Saturday, May 11th, 2013

I just ended an 8 month relationship and I did it by realizing that I had to focus on what was best for me and I knew that our direction, or rather lack thereof, wasn't.

However, I still find myself in a funk and I'm working on how to break out of it....

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6331373
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 InTheRabbitHole (original poster member #19319) posted at 6:16 AM on Saturday, May 11th, 2013

Yeah, it's time to break it off. I realized that tonight when I was out with my girls. We're just not on the same page. I might be afraid to be alone. I've been in a relationship since I was 14.

It looks like I'm not alone at all in this. Maybe we just need to rip off the bandaid. Maybe that's exactly what it is, a bandaid.

Persevere, what did you tell him or her?

posts: 204   ·   registered: Apr. 29th, 2008
id 6331643
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