My childhood friend came out to visit his family. He was out here two years ago but I did what I always do...beg out. Why? Im embarrassed of myself.Anyway, he flew in this morning and after visiting with his dad in eastern jersey, he text me he was on his way out to visit
Even tho I am beating myself up with did I present enough manners...oh shit I look horrible. My hair needs a cut and dye. I am so fat...thank you boss for leaving behind your work issued sweater bc I used it to hide my fat self
At the same time I applaud myself for making it through.
I have to say...omg!!! The manners my friends dad instilled in his son. I now remember how he was in school. Fatber and son are everything I want my son to be now and when he grows.
The door was held open for me. In fact my friend stopped me from touching the door handle (I was going to hold the door open for them as how I was taught...respect). My friend walked behind his dad and I and his dad insisted on walking on the outside of the sidewalk close to the road. This is something I have not experienced in many, many years.
(Oh, please let me have not come off in a bad light).
I have to make a change. A serious change. I have to get back the qualities I once possessed. I have become my surrounding...the ones I dont like. I have to be a better example for my kids
Just in case anyone reading this says grab myself an IC...Im proud to say as of this morning I have an appt this Thursday during lunch. She even has Sunday hours but I have nobody to watch the kids.
Now maybe when my female friends come up from Fl to the Bronx I will make it out to see them instead of hide. Maybe.
