SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

The final hearing on my D is set for June 6th. The magistrate told both L's that he set aside 7 1/2 hrs. and we will not leave until there is a deal done and singed off on. I am of course ecstatic and thinking of ways to celebrate.

So what did you all do to celebrate after final D? I need some ideas.

[This message edited by PanicAttack53 at 5:50 PM, May 30th (Thursday)]

When the decree came I didn't feel like celebrating. I remember putting my son to bed and drinking a bottle of wine. Pretty sure I cried and posted on SI.

Sorry for the downer response but even though I thought I was going to be all happy and want to celebrate...that was not my reality.

Hope someone comes along with a happier suggestion!

I went to Las Vegas with a couple of SI friends.

I had a bachelorette party

My girlfriends made me a sparkly pink sash that said "Back on the Market" and we went to dinner, drinks at one of my favorite bats, and then dancing at a meat market club. It was awesome.

I drank a ton of whiskey, shot pool w/a good lady friend & played my inner theme-music on the jukebox.

I had friends that wanted to throw a party. Not what I wanted at all.

After D from XWH#1, I let him keep everything, took a buyout and ran fast.

After leaving the courthouse, I walked into an empty apartment that was entirely MINE. I seriously sat in the middle of the floor and drank a bottle of wine out of a plastic cup. It was one of the most amazing moments in m life.

My D coincided with my birthday, so I went to San Antonio with a group of friends to celebrate both.

I asked wasband to take a "victory" photo of me holding the final decree on the courthouse steps. He obliged. And then I ran across the street to change my name at the social security office, and then off to the DMV to update my driver's license.

And then I went home, did usual Mom stuff (school pick up, homework, etc.) and made my kids a Valentine's dinner.

Yup - my D was final on Valentine's Day. By choice.

Where I live, you don't find out you're D is final until after the fact. Turns out, when I found out and thought back, it had been just a perfect way to celebrate.

It was gorgeous weather and I spent the day with DGD. We went to lunch, then sat on the patio of a place along the lake drinking wine and people-watching.

DD joined us at DGD's house for a wine, cheese and chocolates party in the evening. I got a fortune cookie with the perfect message for the day: "All good things will now come your way. " when i got home and found out I was D then, it seemed even more perfect!

I called some friends to tell them about after I got home and found out and we went out for a little celebration after the fact.

We're due for another celebration soon for another of my friends. She and I were thinking that signing the final papers would be very difficult and emotional, but after all our WSs had put us through, it was very easy and satisfying.

Good luck.

I saw your victory photo, NIK! That was around the tine I joined here. You didn't leave it up long before it poofed, but it was definitely a look of joy and victory.

I almost forgot-- I still consider my trip to Ireland a celebration of the D. I had always wanted to go there but xpos always told me if I wanted to go there, I would have to do that without him. So I did! And had a much better time that way!! I met a lovely group of women also traveling alone or with other women to do things with and now have 8 new friends!! Perfect!

Don't forget its a funeral for a dead marriage. And since we didn't want to be divorced in the first place, we might be ecstatic, our hearts are broken.

I was happy he was gone, but sad my family was forever torn. Nothing to celebrate for me.

I'll probably be sad, but not for any emotional reasons..

WH has the BEST family health insurance plan out of anyone I know. No premiums, $10 doctor visits, $10 counseling visits, $25 ER visits, diagnostics fully covered, specialists fully covered, 80 cent medications, it's really the best of anyone I've ever talked to..

He keeps delaying the divorce by not providing all his financials, but I'm not complaining all that much (though it's funny when he blames me for delaying it).. C/S checks are coming in, and I'm feeling more detached than ever, so I'll let him pull this crap as long as he wants

But I will be glad to officially be done with that lying, cheating POS.. I'm not much of a wine drinker, but I'm sure a night out with the friends will be in my plans. With a couple of beers and plenty of shots being the drinks of choice. After we designate a DD. Or hire a limo. With a Jacuzzi in it

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 10:54 PM, May 30th (Thursday)]

I personally wasn't real happy about it all. Once we mediated, I went out for a g.d. drink with XH. <y'all see that? WITH XH! We even ran into my attorney as bar and courthouse on same block. Lawyer asked, "Wanna - WTH are you doing?!" I said, I dunno, getting 'a' drink. And we had two, very odd & sad for the time, but it was meant to be I guess.

Once it was final in court, we both showed up (dressed well and separate). I cried the whole way home; I don't know what he did - surely celebrated with OW in some way.

For me - it wasn't a celebratory occasion. It was sad, sucky and g.d. costly.

[This message edited by wannabenormal at 12:45 AM, May 31st (Friday)]

I won't celebrate the end of my M but I will celebrate that I survived this intact and more alive than ever. I'll also formally christen my NB.

Friends, love, laughter and wine.

Initially and on the divorce day I was happy to experience freedom. And all the congratulatory messages I got from friends and relatives backed my happiness.

I was happy that I survived a false DV case, a false mental torture, possible jail time, long court battle, possible monetary loss that I had worked hard for, the physical impact on my health, my emotionally torn life, health of my parents due the shocker.

After the dust settled, I mourned at what had happened. I still feel bad for DS. He is a good kid and his school teachers are proud of him. His teacher cried for him that he will be bought up in a broken home.

Yes, I did go out with my friends, had a good time. They too were happy for me, that I was liberated from torture.

exW was visibly sad on divorce day. Her father and BIL were sad D was happening to their family, but, it was they who encouraged the whole thing by not 2X4 their girl.

Sadly exW could not come out of the lies she spread about me. There was no coming back to me after all the false allegations she laid on me.

Hope she is happy now, after EVERYTHING she did.

I checked OBS's FB page and she seemed happy to come out of her 180 and has rejoined her family. She posted some recent pictures of herself with her DS.

So OM got to screw my life and now is back with his family and career. And I am separated from DS. This is life.

My XH did not move out until the day our divorce was final.

It was my IC who suggested having the locks of the house changed and going out to dinner with friends who were helpful during the process - and that's just what I did. It was not really a celebration, but more of a desire not to be in the house alone on my first night.

Good luck.

I had a sort of reverse bachelorette party. I encouraged guests to wear old bridesmaid dresses (guys wore crazy ugly suits/ties). We started the night with dinner at a Tiki/Biker theme bar, which included a cake that said Happy Divorce. The heavily tattoed staff was amused at the party theme and comped my drinks.

Then we went dancing at a goth club. Followed by singing at a piano bar. It was a great night, and I got free drinks EVERYHWERE from other bar patrons when they heard what the party was all about. One o f my best parties ever. And two friends who met that night are married now. (made for a great story at the wedding)

I felt very indifferent the day the divorce was final. That feeling kind of took me by surprise.

Post divorce was a process nothing special or memorable to mark the occasion. I spent money on myself, de-cluttered and got rid of negative memorabilia, worked out at the gym really hard, wrote in journal, drank more than usual, got to know my authentic self rather than who he wanted me to be or who I thought I was supposed to be. Made my home girly rather than neutral, got rid of all those efforts to be "fair" that he always screamed about but yet was never fair to me only him. Reclaimed my space, my bed, bought a good B.O.B. (no, not ashamed of that).

Hey Panic just for fun, google image: divorce cake and ring coffin.

I was really hurt. It was probably one of the darkest days of my life and i didn't know what to do or where to go. I try now not to think back on it.

But I do remember a special SI friend who helped me get through it. Calling me as I sat in the parking lot before I stepped into mediation to carve up 21 years of my life in a few short hours. I will forever be in her debt and would still do anything for her if she ever needed something.

[This message edited by SeanFLA at 8:45 AM, May 31st (Friday)]