I've been here before and I've allowed my situation to get steadily worse.
I've trickle truth about my infidelity with three separate women. The truth finally came out about the last one a few weeks ago. My BW had a feeling that I was lying to her, and I finally couldn't stand the guilt anymore, so I told her.
Because I've never come clean about anything before, my BW feels that I have more to tell, which isn't the case.
My abusive behavior is making things worse. I've transitioned from verbal and emotional abuse to borderline physical abuse.
I lose my mind at the drop of a hat; I simply snap. I wasn't abused, and I have no reason to be angry.
To add fuel to the fire, I have a hard time posting on SI. I have a hard time knowing what to say and how to say it.
My BW (Juki) has been extremely patient ad has tried to help with by suggesting I read books and the forum; I've resisted. In fact I haven't really accomplished anything.
After reading this post, I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say.
I know I'm an abuser. I know I'm no longer involved with anyone, in any way, nor have I been for decades.
I know I don't want to disappoint my S or hurt my BW anymore.
I'm in IC, but I know I need more help.
